Rusks & Rebels Guestlist: Raising a Child with Williams Syndrome

Rusks & Rebels Guestlist: Raising a Child with Williams Syndrome

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Dylan is the inspiration behind Rusks & Rebels
Gayle and Matt got in touch to tell me about their clothing brand Rusks & Rebels. There’s tons of stuff in the range that caught my eye – including some monochrome letter t-shirts – a perfect excuse for a bit of twinning.
What really touched me was the story behind the brand. Rusks & Rebels was inspired by their son Ryan who has William Syndrome. Though I have heard of William Syndrome I hadn’t really got a clue what it involved and how it would effect a families.
So I asked if they would be willing to share their first hand account of raising a child with Williams Syndrome:

Even though my son Dylan is 14 I have never been asked “What is it like raising a child with Williams Syndrome” Williams Syndrome is a rare chromosome disorder. The Syndrome effects all areas of Dylan’s development, he is a 14 year old boy living with the height, weight and educational and emotional development of a 6 year old. With one hand on a rather large piece of wood however, I am happy to say that all the medical conditions related to the Syndrome have so far past Dylan by, with only a few minor issues. So, his future health looks very positive, however his lack of development promises for an uncertain future in terms of employment. This is why Rusks & Rebels was born!
  • So, here it goes. This is what it is like raising a child with Williams Syndrome

  • Children with Williams Syndrome are very happy, kind and friendly people! This has given us so many lovely moments and laughs along the way.

  • Raising Dylan has been the biggest challenge I have ever faced but a challenge I have loved. We have a very handsome and loving young man to show for it.

  • Choosing the correct school for your child. This consumed me for 3 years as Dylan prepared to leave first school and head to middle school. Should I take him out of main stream and into a specialist school? The answer eventually was yes and after countless visits to different schools he made the move two years ago. His reading, writing and social life has taken a massive leap forward and I would suggest that anybody with a child that has special needs, both educational and physical should look at local special schools as they are an absolute godsend!

  • Raising Dylan and watching his progression through the education system as well as being a part of the Williams Syndrome Association and meeting young adults with Williams Syndrome made me realise that a life in full time employment was highly unlikely. This was the reason we turned a fun idea of making t-shirts for our kids into the baby & children’s clothing brand Rusks & Rebels! The though of working with us still has not outweighed the dream of appearing in the WWE as his alter ego “Rock Smasher”🙂

  • PUBITY!! This is a rollercoaster ride for children without Williams Syndrome but is only heightened with stress and confusion for Dylan. Many questions have been raised during the last 12-18 months and sometimes out of the blue and in the most inappropriate of places haha. As Dylan’s Educational and emotional age is around 6 his understanding in changes to his body have been extremely confusing for him and even harder to understand when being taught about what is happening to his body. We have had to use some ‘interesting’ techniques and explanations to demonstrate. My personal favourite was the  “washing a car is just like washing in the shower” which seemed to have worked in keeping his hygiene levels acceptable. Does mean I have to wash the car more often to prove our point!

  • Turn it down a little. Children with Williams Syndrome have a heightened sense of hearing. Sharp, loud and high pitched sounds effect Dylan a lot more than anybody else we know. This is something that has been a real challenge to combat as Dylan does not like to wear ear protectors. He has become a master at reading situations around sound and always seems prepared to cover his ears to protect himself from a loud noise. Music also plays a huge part in Dylan’s life along with many young adults with Williams Syndrome. Music can effect his emotional state very easily and something as simple as a piece of music in a film can cause floods of tears.

  • Sharing is Caring! Not in the world of Dylan and any of his belongings! We have a daily battle to referee between Dylan and his sister Cameron with constant bickering and one-upmanship which is 90% of the time centred around the use of, hiding or even looking at each others ‘stuff’. Cameron has had the patience of a saint in the past but Dylan’s constant refusal to share anything has created a none sharing side of his sister we never thought we would see. Even though Williams Syndrome kids have a very caring and friendly persona we have found this trait of Dylan’s very hard to take on. So, as it stands, none of our children share anything😦

  • Friends. Dylan does find it very difficult to create friendship groups at school and youth club. This is solely down to his Williams Syndrome and is probably the thing I have found the hardest to deal with. I used to watch him go into school disco’s and events and play on his own in the corner. This have never really bothered Dylan to much as he tends to enjoy his own space and playing in his own fantasy world. As parents I am sure you understand when I say it was utterly heart-breaking for me and on many an occasion brought me to tears. As Dylan has grown up into his grumpy teenage phase we have noticed more of a willingness to join in with social groups so fingers crossed there will be no more boogying to Gangnam Style on his own.

  • Over friendly is a word often used with Williams Syndrome children and young adults. The need to hug, play with hair, stand very close, hold hands and snuggle up to you are all things we have witnessed, not only from our own son but also other children we have met at Williams Syndrome meets. WS children have no fear when it comes to strangers and a huge lesson in their early years is stranger danger! We quickly incorporated what is appropriate and what is not appropriate with strangers and friends and family. This seems to have worked well for us but there is, and probably always will be a part of Dylan that is over friendly.

  • What is normal? Just recently I had a conversation with Dylan about how he looks. People with Williams Syndrome have very distinctive facial features including an upturned nose, sunken naisle bridge, puffiness around the eyes, long upper lip length and widely spaced teeth. Dylans appearance has never really been very prominent in his thoughts and we were taken back by him starting the conversation. “I think I look normal like everybody else until I look in the mirror. The boy I see doesn’t look like me. He looks weird”

  • As Dylan gets older he realises more and more the challenges he faces and how different his life is to a lot of the other children he goes to school with. The next chapter of our life living with Williams Syndrome awaits us as he develops into his teenage life and the last few years of school.

  • We may need a lot of luck going forward but we still beliEve that we are the luckiest people alive to have such a special boy.


    ** RUSKS & REBELS HAVE KINDLY OFFERED MOTHER OF ALL LISTS READERS 10% OFF. JUST ADD THE CODE MOAL10 AT CHECK OUT **

Is It Me or Has Everyone Else Got Their Shit Together?

Is It Me or Has Everyone Else Got Their Shit Together?

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Sometimes it feels like I am the only one with Calpol spunked on my face

Is it me does everyone seem to be a bit more on top of stuff than me? I often leave a social situation with a little knot in my tummy and a voice in my head that says ‘why aren’t I more like them?’ I construct these fantastical images of everyone else’s perfect lives . It’s a bit bonkers, but here’s what I imagine ‘Perfect Woman’ is up to:


  • She has regular, exciting sex. Never the ‘now I’ll put my PJs back on’ sort.

  • Exercises 4 times a week.

  • Has a range of fun, stylish activewear. Her sports-bra hasn’t got a bent out of shape hook that jabs in her back. 

  • Knows a fab beautician who not only does THE BEST mani/pedi/wax, she is pleasantly chatty but not excessively talkative. 

  • Subscribes to a wine club which they consume in moderation. Perfect Woman wouldn’t dream of making her husband  dash to Tesco Metro in his PJs to get an average but overpriced bottle of vino.

  • Has got a 5 year plan (if not a 10 year one). Which her and her partner enjoyed writing together

  • Irons stuff.

  • Is always thrilled with gifts. She wouldn’t dream of setting impossibly high standards that ultimately mean she  is eternally disappointed with anyone elses choice of gift. 

  • Eats a variety of meals. No repetitive weekly menus for this house-hold.

  • Perfect woman and her partner don’t find themselves eating with a random collection of cutlery. (A few remains of a set which were a wedding gift. The majority are one from the work kitchen that have randomly found there way home. And in really dire times colourful plastic Ikea ones).

  • Also, where possible, they like to have a ready supply of delicious bits and bobs in stock ‘just in case’: nice cheeses, olives, perhaps a homemade dip. That sort of thing. 

  • Of course her Tupperware is a) fantastic b) the perfect size for the occasion c) is always stored neatly.

  • She never gets so hungry that she has to eat peanut butter straight the jar.

  • Or cleans stain off her jumper with a baby-wipe.

  • Perfect woman wears lovely undies.

  • Perfect woman regularly re-soles her shoes.

  • And always has clothes altered so they fit her ‘just right’. 

  • She tones. And exfoliates. Her through beauty regime is what’s helping her retain her looks. That and drinking gallons of water and green tea.

  • Her children sleep 7-7. Occasionally even longer!

  • She reads the Sunday papers. Without a hangover. In nice pajamas. It goes without saying that she will always have changed the toddlers nappy first. She’d never let them waddle around till nearly 10 am.

  • Has savings. For a rainy day. Or life ‘little emergencies’. No running out money at the of every month for this sensible soul. 

  • And a drinks cabinets. With drinks you might actually want to drink in it.

  • Meets friends and partakes in full conversations.  

  • She is genuinely well informed about the goings on in the world. Rather than trying pass off second-hand knowledge she has gleaned by scrolling through social media.

  • Has the perfect wardrobe for every occasion. She invests in a combination of timeless classics and versatile, on-trend seasonal up dates.

  • And a specific pocket in her bag for her phone, that she always remembers use. That way she never has to scramble around for it like a nutter or battle the momentary fear that SHE HAS LOST IT!!

  • Perfect woman has been practicing mindfulness. Meaning that she is very ‘present’. She throughly enjoys the moment. 

  • Perfect women isn’t busy looking at other people and fantasising about their lives. That would be mental. 

  • And then again maybe perfect woman is a bit dull. She doesn’t like a gin too much. And she’s definitely hasn’t laughed so much that a) she has snorted b) she has pissed herself. Or cried so snot came out of her nose. And that is her loss.

  • Because if imperfect means fun, passionate, exciting, ad hoc, trying-your-best, flying-by-the-seat-of-your-pants then surely that’s better than perfect?…

  • Though I am planning on upgrading my storage containers to these Joseph Joseph bad boys. Look at them! Surely they are the first step towards becoming a little bit perfect...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scummy Mummies Guest List: Why Swimming Lessons are the 7th Circle of Hell.

Scummy Mummies Guest List: Why Swimming Lessons are the 7th Circle of Hell.

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Just excellent

I can’t think of how to describe Helen and Ellie of Scummy Mummies, other than to say they are so hilarious it’s ridiculous. Snorty laughter type funny.  They tell it is how it is, with a touch of ‘I can’t believe they just said that’. Which frankly, is a really excellent combo.

Here they are doing what do best: being funny, whist talking about the unsung hell that is taking your kids swimming…


 

  • When you become a mum, you acquire new superpowers to help you cope with some of life’s most repulsive experiences. I was astonished to find I could calmly deal with a monolithic tantrum in the middle of M&S, an ear-splitting rendition of Let it Go, and being doused with several bodily fluids, sometimes all at once.

  • But there is one thing that has broken me. It has driven me to the darkest depths of despair, unleashed my rage, and left me a dribbling, sobbing mess. I am talking, of course, about swimming lessons.

  • Sure, learning to swim is an important life skill, like being able to boil an egg, or open a bottle of beer with a spoon. But the process of getting there is unbearable. It’s like trying to wrestle a pack of wild animals in a small sauna, while they shout “BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES”at the top of their voices. And that’s before they’re even in the pool.

  • Things were different when I was growing up in Australia. I can’t actually remember learning to swim – it was something I just knew how to do, like speaking with an upward inflection and barbecuing things.

  • I would toddle off on my bike, wearing only my togs and thongs, a towel dangling over the handlebars. I went swimming in deep bodies of water, jumping off diving boards and swinging off ropes. I was happy and carefree. And I only nearly drowned a few times.

  • So I looked forward to taking my sweet baby to the pool, envisioning us giggling and smiling as we splashed about. What I didn’t realise was that I was about to enter a new circle of Hell.

  • And here’s why:

  •  The changing rooms are heated to approximately 57 degrees. Why do they do this? It makes you sweat, causes stress, and encourages boiling rage.

  • Our carefully packed swimming bag always gets emptied into the puddle on the floor.

  • My son likes to add to the chaos by doing a pee, usually such a big one that I canonly assume he’s been saving it up all week, just for this moment.

  • Changing rooms induce verbal diarrhoea in my children, who love to loudly describethe scene before them. My favourite quotes have included:

  • “MUMMY HAS BIG FLOPPY BOOBIES!”

  • “Your tummy is HUGE, Mummy – do you have another baby in there?”

  • “Mummy, why is your front bottom so hairy?”  

  • The whole place is an emergency trip to A&E waiting to happen. You have to spend your whole time watching out for head-splitting slippery surfaces, finger-jamming locker doors, and the random biohazards other swimmers have kindly left on the floor. Things my children have tried to put in their mouths include:

  • An old lollipop

  • A used plaster

  • A (human?) hairball

  • A moldy swimming cap

  • A wellington boot (not ours)

  • Then it’s time to jump in the water and begin the lesson. Or, if you’re my children, sit on the side of the pool refusing to go in for ten minutes, then ignore the teacher completely while dicking about with an old verruca sock you found in stuck in the filter.  

  • Afterwards everyone gets to do the first bit all over again, in reverse, while wet, tired, hungry, and cold. This is extra fun in winter, when you get the added challenge of having to dry hair while finding missing gloves.

  • Let’s be honest, the best bit about swimming lessons is getting home. There’s a huge sense of achievement in knowing your children are one step closer to being less likely to drown.

  • Plus you get to reward yourself for having made sure they got some good, healthy exercise, by downing half a bottle of Chardonnay.

  • And it’s not forever – they will learn to swim, eventually. I just wish the process of my kids learning a survival skill didn’t nearly kill me.


A new episode of The Scummy Mummies Podcast is released every fortnight – listen free via scummymummies.com or  iTunes. We’re on Facebook and Twitter – @scummymummies. 
And, just for luck, here’s another snap of Helen and Ellie being winners:
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Love. Love. Love.
Nurturing Mum’s Guest List: Balancing a Baby and a Business.

Nurturing Mum’s Guest List: Balancing a Baby and a Business.

By Lucinda Hutton

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A baby, a business and a successful mirror Selfie. WHAT A WINNER.

Lucinda was a city lawyer. Then had a her son and decided to quite her job and start a new business when he was just 5 months old. Ballsy or what?! She started  Nurturing Mums, postnatal course that provides practical, expert advice mums with babies 0-9m.

What a blooming brilliant idea. Anti-natal is well and good, but its only when that small human arrives earth-side that you have all the ‘how the hell do I this?’ questions.

Anyway, Lucinda is here to offer with a load of tips on how to ‘Balancing a Baby and A Business’:


 

  • Know your market. Get to know who is ‘out there’ in whatever business you want to run & work out what you would be offering that is unique before you take the leap.

  • Don’t think that you can’t do something just because you haven’t done it in your ‘past life’ – I had never owned a business before, run a website or social media accounts. You’d be surprised how quickly you can pick things up – there are lots of helpful people out there and there’s always YouTube!

  • Make an investment – not necessarily financially, but with your time. If you aren’t making the time for your business, it’s unlikely it will just ‘take off’ without you dedicating your time to it. I appreciate this is tricky with a baby, but it pays off.

  • Get childcare if you can – this is a particularl difficult one for me as I can’t leavemy son in a nursery due to the fact he is on oxygen. I rely heavily on my family & our new au pair so I can steal hours here & there at home to work. It isn’t always financially viable to pay for childcare whilst starting up your business – but it is great if you can. If not, try and be strict with your time when it comes to nap-times & evenings.

  • Create a work space – whether it’s a desk in the corner of a room or you are lucky enough to have an office – use it. I am always so much more productive when sat at a desk (and in another room from my unruly toddler).

  • Network – running a new business from your home can be lonely. Other mum bosses aren’t only a great source of inspiration, but if you can network and meet other mums running their own businesses, you will no doubt leave with invaluable advice and potentially access to new clients.

  • Social media is your friend – Don’t be afraid of using it to get word out there. It’salso easy to waste time on social media too. I’d recommend apps like Hootsuite which can schedule posts for you so you don’t have to be logged in all the time.

  • Make sure you mix up your posts with a mixture of articles & posts your readers will find interesting, as opposed to advertising all the time.

  • Get good at talking about what you do – this is something that has taken me awhile to do. I was very good at walking into a room & saying that I was a lawyer in my past life. What I should have been saying is, “I’m the owner of Nurturing Mums, this fantastic non-judgemental postnatal course perfect for new mums in North London”.

  • I think that a) people would have found that far more interesting & b) you never know where one conversation might take you!

  • Make time to switch off – Build structured work time into your weekly routine.

  • Being a stay at home working mum is NOT the easy option. You have to be disciplined both in your work and your head space. It would be very easy for me to be on my phone responding to emails all day as opposed to spending time with my son – the real reason most of us decide to run our own businesses in the first place – for quality family time! I now have to charge my phone out of my bedroom at night so I’m not tempted to check it. It does mean I get better sleep though!

  • Fake it til you make it – new businesses go through ups & downs. Especially ifyou’re feeling sleep deprived and in a bit of a business slump, if you have faith inyour idea and truly believe it will be successful, keep at it. In the mean time – put up a lovely instagram pic & keep on keeping on.

  • The appearance that your business is doing well is half the battle, even if you’re sat in your pjs eating bourbon biscuits with your little one running rings around you – or maybe that’s just me!


**Nurturing Mums postnatal courses run in Hampstead, Islington, Crouch End, East Finchley and soon St Albans. Lucinda has kindly offered  a whooping 20% off to you lucky readers. Add promo code MOTHEROFALLLISTS at nurturingmumsuk.com**

 

MOTHER OF ALL LISTS X LADYLAND: How to Survive a Festival with Kids

MOTHER OF ALL LISTS X LADYLAND: How to Survive a Festival with Kids

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Woooo hooo! We’re heading to Camp Bestival  at the end of the month and I’m very excited about it. Not only is it a festival that caters specifically for families (phew) yet still has loads of great adulty stuff too. We’re going with a load of my best instapals, including the gorgeous Emma from Ladyland.

Previously I’ve been to festivals in many parental states: heavily pregnant, with babies, with toddlers; this will be the first time I’ve had two mobile children who can potentially run in opposite directions – wish me luck!

Like most things with kiddies a bit of planning really can make all the difference. Mother of all Lists has teamed-up with Ladyland to bring you: ‘How to Survive a Festival with Kids’.  A guide to make festivals with nippers as fun and stress-free as possible.

It come in two parts.  Part one, from me, is a bunch of handy tips and ‘watch-outs’ (below). Part two – is Ladyland’s definitive list of what to pack, hop over here  to read it.


  • Arrive in good time. Trying to set up a camp with overtired children is a miserable experience.

  • Better still have an activity planned to keep them occupied while you try to figure out how to erect the tent. Making necklaces, toy swords, bubbles that sort of thing.

  • Hello middle-age. If you can get your hands on a roof box, then do it. There is no such thing as too much gear.

  • Go for the best blow-up bed you can afford. Plus the biggest tent you can afford. Both are investments. The more kids you have the more likely your are to resort to camping holidays.

  • Layers. You forget how cold it gets at night. Really cold. (Yet somehow men still manage to sleep in just their pants?!).

  • Gro-bags. You can get 18-36 month old, they are pretty big and better than a duvet.

  • Silicone ear-plugs. As important as mascara and clean knickers.

  • Swimwear.  I always forget it. But loads of festivals have hot-tubs or swimming lakes and you don’t want to miss out.  Ignore those waify twenty-somethings who don’t even realise how wonderful they look, get your tankini on and be proud that you grew a human.

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    Preggo’s can still party
  • A washbag you can hang-up. Nothing luxurious about the floor of a temporary shower unit.

  • Old-school toothbrush. Generally I prefer electric, until they run out of juice 24 hours in.

  • Dead phone = really liberating. Or if that is truly unthinkable; invest in one of those charging packs.

  • Be a British Cliche. Take teabags and UHT milk and proper mugs. That morning cuppa is a life line. Drinking from a plastic beaker doesn’t cut it.

  • Think before you drink. Before you pack loads of booze, ask yourself would I be able to stomach this luke warm? If the answer is yes you are on to a winner. For me voddy & cloudy apple juice is a strong choice.

  • Food? Thank goodness for Ella’s for littlies. Other essentials are:  dry snacks (obvs). Avocado (middle-class cliché). Posh pot-noodle (Itsu ones). Porridge in a pot (breakfast for everyone and no washing up).  Apples (a welcome break from beige carbs).

  • Brioche – why the hell doesn’t it go stale?! Can’t be good for you. Useful though. 

  • ** There are more extensive and imaginative food and drink tips over on Ladyland’s pack list.**

  • What’s worse than a teething child? A teething child that wakes a whole field of hungover people up at 4 AM. DO NOT FORGET THE CALPOL. 

  • Have a “spot”. One that  is as obvious and easy to find as possible.

  • Take a photo of the program & map, store it on your phone for when inevitably you lose it.

  • A hint of routine. Most things go out the window at a festival. A vaguely familiar timeframe can help everyone. We’ve found that heading back to the tent at 5 ish for tea, ‘washing up bowl bath’ and PJ’s worked well. It meant that by the time we put them in the buggy at bedtime they were ready to drop-off easily. 

  • Street urchin chic. There will come a point when the kids become laughably dirty. You may feel horrified. But chances are they will (literally) be as happy as pigs in shit.

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    Grubby child = happy child
  • (Controversial but) Buggy not cart. Those festie carts look cool. But they are heavy and unfamiliar. And kids can climb out. They’re more likely to chill in their usual mode of transport.

  • Sleep comparison.  If  (or when) you find you are only getting 5 hours sleep a night a console yourself with the fact that’s still WAY more sleep than the majority of festival goers will be getting. 

  • Cut everyones nails short beforehand. Avoid the horror of dirt under the fingernails

  • Lighters. Remember the days when everyone had a clipper? Not any more. Your stove is redundant without.

  • Don’t try to do everything with other families you’ll just end up waiting around for people all day. And boy is that irritating. Do your own thing and have a meeting place later on. 

  • Book in “Adult time” – not like that!  A bit of time out from adulting:  a massage for Mum  and mosh pit for Dad. Or the other way round.

  • DO NOT WEAR DUNGAREES. Those Straps + porta-loos = hideous on so many levels.

  • Versatility rules. A black bag = duvet carrying device, laundry basket. or potential rain jacket. Large bucket = washing up bowl and child-washing bowl. Might not exactly be Bear Grylls thinking outside the box does give a pleasing sense of satisfaction. 

  • Avoid a lost child announcement. Take a Sharpie to scrawl your mobile number on their arm.

  • Embrace the mayhem. In the old days we went to festivals to let loose. Allow the kids to do the same. Spilling stuff, charging about, bouncing on beds. Being given the opportunity to go a bit feral is good for the soul.

  • Like any festival there will be times when you ask yourself ‘why the hell are we doing this?’. As soon as you are home, you will know why you did:

  • A break from real life.

  • A chance to feel a little bit like the old you.  

  • And when you look back at the summer it will 100% be THE thing you remember.


    That’s my best advice. Now over to Ladyland to tell exactly what to pack.

 

Camdstagram’s Guest List: My Experience of Miscarriage

Camdstagram’s Guest List: My Experience of Miscarriage

By Camilla Doyle

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“Spend some time alone. I went for a massive walk with my dog after I found out….”

When Cam messaged to say she’d had a miscarriage and could she was write a list about it.  I felt all sorts of things. I felt sad for her loss. I felt humbled that she was willing to share it with Mother of All List and I felt proud that she was brave enough to do it.

Here it is story:


  • You WILL and WILL your eyes to see a heartbeat when looking at the scan and automatically assume the doctor is incompetent.

  • You will feel 100% patronised by the doctors, who inevitably say’ “maybe you conceived later than you think?”…

  • You feel like you want the foetus out of your body as a matter of urgency – NB with missed miscarriages you have to wait a week and have another scan to prove the lack of growth and heartbeat. This is a legality, it feels grossly unfair but there’s no choice.

  • You still feel pregnant. It’s real grim.

  • You still have the pregnancy habits, oh is that 4th tea too much? This butter and marmite laden crumpet is FINE because I can…  It feels very sad to then break them.

  • Nurses and doctors at the hospital don’t know what to do with you. Everyone needs some mega training on this. I was aching for frankness – I was aching for someone to tell me the baby has died instead of ‘let’s wait a week’ or ‘you may or may not miscarry this week’ ‘we’ll just have to see’ WHATTTTT????!

  • You need cold hard facts not fluff. Ask for them.

  • In the delirium, there is hilarity between you and your partner. VERRRYYYYY dark humour creeps in…

    – When they print off the baby photos and give them to you (whaaaaaaaat???)

    – When you hear babies born after miscarriage are called ‘Rainbow Babies’ (cue stoic stare to camera)….

    – When you think about drinking famous ‘mothers ruin’ gin to get things moving…

  • It feels hard to break the imagination of having a baby on the due date you got given.

  • What Christmas would be like, how your baby will be in the same school year as your bezzie mate…

  • You have to remove your thoughts into the fact it was the size of an olive, it was cells.

  • Focus on your life away from pregnancy and babies for a while. Focus on the relief you can drink at a mates wedding in a few weeks, focus on not being clammy with your friends as you hide the pregnancy.

  • Spend some time alone. Tricky for some not for others. I went on a massive walk with my dog the day after I found out. It took me so long to get out of the house but without sounding like someone who says they look forward to their next ‘Rainbow Baby’ it really helped. My phone was off, I took some breaths, I looked at people in the eyes and realised I have NO idea what’s going on in someone’s lives and if someone tuts at me for dropping my debit card at the tube barriers let them. They’ve probably got shit going on.

  • You and your partner become mega-close. Like two massive wooden pygmis like the one Hugh Grant nearly bought in Four Weddings and a Funeral.

  • You want to tell people what’s happened. They may not know you were pregnant but the immediate support from everyone is incredible. People share stories, people have always got someone they know who went thought this (SO MANY). The texts and voicemails make you cry but bloody hell… The support is immense.

  • You need to eat. You need strength for the coming week.

  • You want to shout it from the rooftops as you realise it’s so common and want everyone to talk about it more. Why weren’t we told in school that 1 in 4 early pregnancies end in miscarriage?

  • Acknowledging this statistic, it’s still really horrible. Give time to grieve and breathe.

  • You hear a lot of statistics but one good one is that the likelihood of this happening again is no lower or higher than before.

  • When you get wheeled through the hospital to surgery on your bed,  it’s utterly humiliating and quite hilarious. You’re eye contact with every patient and as you go through double doors they totes slam in your face.

  • I apparently sang The Rolling Stones as I ‘went under’ because apparently I love them? (I wasn’t aware of this).

  • I was nil by mouth for so long I had genuine thoughts I’d look like that blonde naked dragon lady from Game of Thrones. (I don’t) .

  • You feel strangely strong. Exhausted. But determined to get better.

  • You feel like you’re part of this crew of incredible women who know how challenging and miracle-making pregnancy is. My friend Tomo calls them Powerful Minnows.

  • You realise that women are even more machine like than you knew. From someone who wasn’t part of the pregnancy crew to having a small insight. The few weeks of extreme tiredness, the sickness, the food cravings and the hormones were intense. It blows my mind that, reproduction is what makes the world go round. Yet it’s SO hard?!

  • So there it is. It’s all pretty sad. But it’s going to be ok.  Here’s to that Rainbow Baby eh?


    **Side note Cam has a seriously funny Instagram, you should follow her @camdstagram **

Parenting Crimes I have Committed

Parenting Crimes I have Committed

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Swore I’d never dress them the same. But then this happened…

Before you have a kid you look at people with kids and think ‘i’ll never be like them’. Then you have one and it all goes out the window.

Here’s a selection of parenting ‘no go’s’ that I, unfortunately, have committed:


  • Sniffed my childs bum to smell if they’ve poohed.

  • Internally judged someone’s choice of buggy. This makes me an awful person.

  • Made non-parents have brunch when really the wanted lunch.

  • Overshared photos of my off spring on every conceivable form of social media.

  • Started talking about schools. A lot. Bertie doesn’t even start school until September 2017.

  • Cleaned their face with spit. I even remember how unpleasant this was when it was done to be as a kid, yet still find myself doing it.

  • Put my boys in matching outfits. I swore I wouldn’t. But turns-out twinning is just so bloody cute.

  • Referred to my husband as Daddy more often than by his name.

  • Unpacked a whole picnic for my kid in a restaurant. Is this cheeky? Maybe. But it’s better than wasting money on grub they’ll never eat.

  • Picked a dummy up off the floor then sucked if before giving it back to my child. Why?  Why? Why? Totally pointless gesture. As if this magically removes all germs. It’s a reflex. An unstoppable daft reflex.

  • Got to a point where your 3-year-old refers to an expensive electronic device as ‘theirs’ i.e. ‘Mummy can I watch my ipad now?’ Cringe. It’s clearly not theirs, but seeing as he uses is 90% of the time I can understand why he might be confused.

  • Give zero fucks about the state of the family car. Why don’t they clear the biscuit smears off the car seat? Why are there of wrappers, shoes, buckets and spades and party bag toys in the foot well? Why don’t I care enough to do something? I don’t know why. But I die a bit every time an unsuspecting person requests a lift in the hideous child mobile.

  • Use child speak even though you are an articulate adult. In our house we refer to a nappy as a pappy, a dummy as a num, going to bed as getting snuggly bug. Our poor  baby niece is Umbrella rather than Isabella. Once you start allowing this gobbledygook to become part of your day-to-day vernacular you can’t stop. What How do we expect our off-spring to learn proper language if we don’t adult-up and teach them?

  • Photographed an explosive nappy situation and sent it your other half.

  • Told someone other than your other half about how explosive the nappy was.

  • Picked your child’s nose, ear wax, cradle cap and got a bit of pleasure out of how much you harvested. Seriously. I’m repulsed at myself.

  • Waxed lyrical about the benefits of baby wipes. Admittedly they are amazing and I often wish I had a packet to hand at work. But really? It’s rubbish chat.

  • Sung along to the Peppa Pig theme tune. Oink.

  • Written thank you cards as if they were penned by your child. Embarrassing but true. “Woody says thank you very much for his birthday money..” No he doesn’t! Woody hasn’t got the foggiest about finance. If Woody was honest he would have much preferred an edible gift.

  • I am sure this is the tip of the iceburg of Parenting Crimes I am guilty of, but what you can you do? That’s the thing about parenting: it turns you into someone you didn’t think you’d become. Sometimes for the better, occasionally for the worse. Fact is, you can’t fight it; so you may as laugh and hope that you aren’t the only one at it *she says hopefully*.