THE YESMUM MUM’S GUEST LIST: What I Wish I Had Known Before I Became a Parent

THE YESMUM MUM’S GUEST LIST: What I Wish I Had Known Before I Became a Parent

By Hollie de Cruz

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Look at this beauty….

Welcome to  a new feature on Mother of All Lists  called Guest List. Every few weeks I’m  a variety of wonderful women will share their thoughts in the form of a list

First-up is  Hollie de Cruz founder of London Hypnobirthing and the woman responsible for my amazing birth experience with Woody.

[AND since this list was published she has also created Yesmum Cards – genius little packs of positive affirmations for Mums].

Here’s Hollie’s list – ‘What I wish I’d known before I became a parent’:

 


 

  • That birth is an amazing experience. I was shitting myself until I discovered hypnobirthing. I wish I’d discovered I was born with a kick-ass piece of kit earlier on.

  • That women who tell you how awful birth is – when you’re pregnant – are twats.

  • That going slightly mental and chopping off all your hair with a blunt fringe to reclaim your identity is not a good move at 9 months pregnant.

  • That breastfeeding isn’t as easy as the NCT make out. I prepared loads for my birth and assumed breastfeeding would be a synch. I wish I’d learned more about it, taken off the pressure, and spent more time laying in bed with my bub working it out.

  • That your hair starts falling out when you stop breastfeeding. Why does no one tell you that this is NOT alopecia?

  • That breastfeeding makes you hungry, thirsty and achy. Cake, tea and massages necessary on demand.

  • That you talk about breasts a lot more than you used to.

  • That newborn babies are pretty minging. And that you don’t realise until you’ve shared way too many ugly pictures of them on social media.

  • That health workers do not know best. You know best.

  • That it’s not a competition. Who cares if supermum’s little Carol is walking before your kid has even figured out they have thumbs.

  • That you will never buy or wear cashmere again. Ever.

  • That expensive toys are a waste of money. A key/toilet roll/empty packet of PomBears is way more interesting than a sensory orb that speaks French.

  • That wide-strapped floral water resistant changing bags are a) overpriced; b) really ugly; and c) a trick to make you lug round a ton of shit you don’t need.

  • That TV and crisps don’t kill children.

  • That every time you’ve felt love in your life is nothing compared to what you feel for your child.

  • That your usual polite and obliging self gets shelved for The Lioness if someone hurts or upsets your child.

  • That your child will never want to wear the cool outfit you bought for them at that Swedish kids boutique. They’ll wear swimming trunks, mittens and a Darth Vader helmet.

  • That your new found sense of pride, physical resilience and depth of love make you basically indestructible.

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