Country Mum vs City Mum


Having just spent a week ‘back home’ in the country. It proved  there really are a lot of difference between Mummying in ‘the smoke vs the sticks’  – its not better or worst. Just different.

All that green space is calming, but London gets you hooked; always gagging to get back amongst it.

Here’s my City Mum’s view of the country living:

A lot less sourdough or avocado on toast.

They sell sandwiches. And they are under £7.

Hear yourself ordering Babycinno and feel like an absolute twat.

Improved complexion. Seems skin enjoys Oxygen almost as much as Kiehl’s Midnight Night Recover Serum.

Hay-fever is a real thing and its extremely irritating.

London is arrogant.  Though it feels like the centre of the universe. There is a whole world out there and they are having a lovely time.

No transport debate. Frantic checking of Citymapper vs Trainline vs TFL – not in the country. You just drive.

And when it says its going to take 20 minutes. That’s how long it’ll take. Not 20 minutes that turns in to 1hr20 in grid-lock traffic (Camberwell New Rd) with a screaming child.

Not everyone has a Bugaboo Bee.  Though they chuckle as it gets wedged on a tree root. They clearly have never manoeuvred through an overpriced kids store selling Scandi delights. In these situations the Bee’s handling is second-to-none.

Boys don’t wear leggings or have long hair.

Less pavement-pounding with prams. How the hell do Country girls shift the Mum Chub?!

Much bigger parking spaces. Get this: you can open the door fully to extract child from car seat.

That thing where an ambulance goes passed just as your kids fallen asleep? yeah didn’t miss that.

You need cash a lot more often. You don’t take card? Contactless? Actual real money. How novel.

Reduced 3G. Better for relaxing & being in the moment. Bad for highlighting your social media addiction.

Mums are younger. 33 felt positively Over-the-Hill.

You keeping your ENTIRE life in the car rather than crammed in a changing- bag.

People appeared genuinely impressed by the buggy board. 

Mum’s have lost their fashion vibe a bit. Bootleg jeans?! Really? Come on girls. 

Not a dungaree in sight.

No one is rocking a red-lip.

No stay-at-home Dads. We take this awesome shift for granted. Can’t helping thinking there were some potential #mumbosses  being wasted.

Village fete is not a theme or Pintrest aesthetic; it’s an actual real thing. Who doesn’t want to win a tin of ravioli from the tombola?

As per all breaks.  The next 10 days will be spent looking at house-prices and seriously considering ‘doing the move’ out.

Before remembering how pleasing it is to be within walking distance of 6 establishments who serve decent coffee (as well as babycinnos).

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  • Reply Dad Without A Map July 14, 2015 at 9:18 pm

    After you’ve lived in London for ooooh say twenty years you shouldn’t be allowed to leave anymore. You get a few chances to do the “lets move to the country” thing and then thats it. You’re barred. From the rest of Britain. Because you’ve gradually got more and more Londoney and frankly you look like one of those synths off Humans to anyone outside the M25. You can go to Devon of course. That’s part of London now. We own that.

    Eventually London is going to be attached to massive balloons and float off like in that film Up. I’ve seen Boris blowing them up with his big lips. And then we’re turning Wales into an airport, the rest of England into a landfill site, and Scotland into a car park. Oh and Northern Ireland into a micro-brewery. It will happen.

  • Reply Kirsty Ross-Hurst July 26, 2015 at 9:07 pm

    I moved out to the country 2 years ago and I may as well have died. Miss London, miss being cool, miss the V&A & life in general but I do quite like my big house…..

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