LAURA’S GUEST LIST: Stuff I’m Glad I Didn’t Know Before I Became a Parent


By Laura Starbuck

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Supreme Mummying skills on display here

In a past life Laura was a creative in an ad agency (we worked together). After having her first daughter she spotted a gap in the market. Rather than ads, Laura turned her hand to making little ‘keep-sake’ films of kids. Nothing schmaltzy or twee. More like music videos. We’re talking proper lighting, editing and always a tear-inducing soundtrack. And because she is a Mum of 2, she gets that kids aren’t always the ‘easiest’ cast-members.

Here’s her website Laura’s Little Film Company.

Here’s her brillliantly honest list ‘Stuff I’m Glad I Didn’t Know Before I Became a Parent.’

I’m glad I didn’t know that my once laid back self would genuinely consider installing a hand sanitising dispenser by the front door to protect my newborn.

I’m glad I didn’t know how EVIL Playdoh actually was (see: cleaning up once dried out and spread throughout entire house, including inside pants and socks), or it would have ruined a childhood reminiscence.

I’m glad I didn’t know how effective star charts were, or I’d have been making them for my husband years ago, which would have been weird.

I’m glad I didn’t know that one day, I’d walk around Tescos, the Post Office and bump into a new neighbour, to come home and see I had only put make-up on one eye.

I’m glad I didn’t know the repercussions of a sneeze post birth and beyond. And if you don’t already, then you don’t need to know either.

I’m glad I didn’t know that I’d be the type of mum to congratulate my toddler for shop lifting a Creme Egg. Ok fine, I always knew I would be proud of that.

I’m glad I didn’t know that when my precious little girl would wander through for a cuddle in the middle of the night, that I’d shiver a bit and think of ‘The Ring’. (Four foot tall, nightdress, hair all over face, not good).

I’m glad I didn’t know the price of kids shoes or I might have just settled for a cat.

I’m glad I didn’t know how scary cutting newborn’s nails were, because cats have these scratching posts where they can do it all by themselves.

I’m glad I didn’t know that one day my standards would drop to a level whereby I’d class a shirt as being clean due to it only having a ‘little bit of sick’ on it.

I’m glad I didn’t know that one day I’d get woken up with the words “You be Anna and I’ll be Elsa” at5am, ’cause hey that would have ruined the surprise.

I’m glad I didn’t know that I’d become someone who drinks microwaved tea.

I’m glad I didn’t know that one day I’d be walking around with a handbag full of pirates treasure (dirty rocks from someone’s driveway).

I’m glad I didn’t know how catastrophically badly breastfeeding would go for me or I’d never have tried it. And I’m glad I now know non-boob-reared babies are just as happy and healthy… just in case we have a third (cue husband running out the door).

I’m glad I didn’t know the OMG THAT WAS SO AMAZING DID SHE REALLY JUST SAY THAT??? I WANT TEN MORE KIDS feeling when my little girl said “mummy sometimes I really love you”, because some things are just worth waiting for.

And I’m glad I still don’t know what’s yet to come. Because (cheese alert) it keeps getting better and better. Or maybe I’ll just think that until I get woken up again at 5am tomorrow, “You be Elsa”…

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  • Reply Hannah Bhattacherjee August 21, 2015 at 7:57 am

    I just wanted to say I literally LOVE your blog. It is hilarious.


  • Reply Claire September 1, 2015 at 8:06 pm

    I kind of wish I didn’t know the bit about laughing, but excellent list otherwise 😉

  • Reply Cazzarama September 16, 2015 at 10:05 am

    I love this list – totally hilarious. Thank you xxx

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