A Mums Guide to The Body Coach: Cycle One

A Mums Guide to The Body Coach: Cycle One

SO.MANY.EGGS
SO.MANY.EGGS

I’ve become a THE BODY COACH bore – After months of lurking on his instagram during breast-feeds I finally committed.

Now 3 weeks in to his 90daysssplan and I can ‘hand on heart’ say I love it.  And that’s saying some thing who wrote this post entitled “Foodie or Fatty?” a while back.

Here’s my warts n’ all Mum’s guide to The Body Coach:


  • Taking your photos will be incredibly depressing.

  • How the hell have I a) ended up looking like this? b) been allowing myself to walk around looking like this?

  • But, I figure, the worse you look in the beginning the more room there is for transformation?

  • You are probably lop-sided.  My bicep was 1cm bigger on the side I lug the kids around on. 

  • The plan can take 10 days to come through. Use it as an opportunity to eat and drink EVERYTHING – it happened to coinside with a trip to Devon: cream-tea. Fish ‘n Chips. Cornish Pasty (well you know). Lots of booze. Call it a Last hurrah.

  • Then The Plan arrives! – it’s on the one hand simple: loads of protein, only eat carbs after exercise, 3 meals, 2 snacks. But somehow baffling. I’ve read it at least 4 times.

  • Yes you have to measure your food. Every. Single. Meal. 

  • Yes you have to drink protein shakes. Unfortunately they’re vile. But you soon learn to open your gullet and get it down you – oi oi!

  • You need eggs. Alot of them. We bought 48 in this shop – 48! I try not to think about it because its weird.

  • The exercise is hard. But it’s 25 minutes? 25 minutes that’s over really quickly. Think of it compared to labour.

  • You don’t need much space. Can’t be an excuse.

  • How about finding the time? I do it while the kids are having breakfast, I encourage them shout ‘go Mummy go!’ – between mouthfuls of cereal.

  • Plus, Joe Wicks very easy on the eye. Looks like a greek god. Sounds like someone you can have a right laugh with. BONUS

  • But if you need to ‘stray elsewhere’; try Fitness Blender on Youtube- “HIIT Like a Girl” is badass.

  • Join the –THE UNOFFICIAL FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP  – full of genius tips eg. how to turn the ‘spermy’ low-carb porridge into biscuits.

  • To be honest, some of the food doesn’t float my boat. A pile of turkey mince? No thanks.

  • BUT there are plenty of genuinly delicious things:

  • Chicken satay is a game changer. Pancakes. ‘Steak and Chips’ – all good with me.

  • You are allowed coffee and tea. But you might not NEED it. My 4 coffee a day habit is now a 1 cup of tea. That’s £60 saved already.

  • What about booze? No you can’t drink. But as Joe says “life is for the living.”  I had a wedding week 2; so I did the sensible thing and drunk 20 pints of prosecco on an empty stomach.

  • BUT I got straight back on the plan the next day inspite of the hangover. Small victory.

  • PMT is tough. Invest in  chocolate protein balls. If you close your eyes you can just about pretend they are Maltesers. Or the cardboardy-cousins of Maltesers.

  • What else? It’s has been more emotional than expected (isn’t everything these days?). I’ve learnt: 

  • How much stepping on the ‘sad step’ dictates my mood for the day.

  • That I have an inbuilt reward scheme. Hard day with the kids = a slice of cake. Long week of work = nice lunch out.

  • Thats it ok to eat ALOT provided you are eating the right thing.

  • That blood-sugar crashes are not the same as genuine hunger

  • But positives (so far) are:

  • Mum-tum is shrinking.

  • I’m unusually clear-headed.

  • When people say you look well I no longer think ‘do they mean fat?!’

  • My skin is the best it’s been since…. well, ever.

  • Trumps. Guffs. Bottom-burps. Whatever you call them I have been farting WAY less. I may let one slip during a deep-squat . But apart from that I’m parp free.

  • Haven’t knicked a single fish-finger from the kids.

  • Am I the only person who likes my deflating boobs? Bring on the spaniels ears.

  • Categorically believe it is not a fad diet. It’s an education.

  • £150 is such good price: expensive enough to make you committ. 

  • AND when you are liking yourself a bit more, you can cope with the kids a bit better. (No glimpsing  yourself in the mirror bit at softplay and cringing)

  • Time to start digging out some of the clothes I thought I’d never fit into again…. and boy does that feel good.


** UPDATE** AS PROMISED HERE ARE MY BEFORE AND AFTER SHOTS FROM CYCLE 1:

I’M PLEASED TO SAY THERE IS NOW 3.5KG AND 12 INCHES LESS OF ME. BRING ON CYCLE 2.

Sorry about the post-labour pants. I promise I only wear them to work-out in these days.
Sorry about the post-labour pants. I promise I only wear them to work-out in these days.

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12 thoughts on “A Mums Guide to The Body Coach: Cycle One

    1. Ahhh I’m really pleased. Good luck! Ive done my weigh in/measurements today – am really chuffed with the results… Onwards and upwards!!! Xxx

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    1. Do it!! It’s taught me so much about my relationship with food. And finally shifted some of the mum-chub – it really does get harder with each baby doesn’t it?! Xx

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  1. Great post and very true depiction of life on cycle 1 as a working mummy! Same here for me, but with only 1 daughter to shout ‘faster mummy, faster’.. when I’m trying to kick out 40 secs of mountain climbers..!! Thanks for your honesty and the great laugh at ’20 pints of prosecco’!!

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  2. Absolutely loved reading this! My friend in Australia told me about it (I’m in Brighton) and I’ve only just had the time to actually get around to find it. I’m not a mum but all these tips are great and make me feel better about certain things I’ve thought/ done during cycle one. Just started cycle two and feeling fat as hell and like you, never thought I would want to say no to carbs in my life before i started this plan. I’ve just got to work through this carb bloat and trust him! You’ve done amazing, looking forward to hearing about cycle 3 and seeing your reveal pics! Thank you 🙂

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  3. Well done lady! You look amazing. So inspiring. I am thinking on joining the plan although unsure as I am breastfeeding my 8 week old baby. Wondering if I will be ok to do the workouts this soon after birth and if the diet is good enough to carry on breastfeeding my baby? I hope you can provide some advice. Thank you in advance.

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