By Vikki Muston

Vikki is one of my sister’s best mates. She makes exceptional good puddings. She is  Full Time Mum to: Oscar 10 (who is autistic), Susannah 3 and twins Rosie and Berry who are nearly 2. Vikki also sings and writes TWO fantastic blogs:

Most Recently: House Full of Little People

And the incredible: The Autistic Diaries

Thinking about what Vikki does day in day out makes me feel exhausted but utterly inspired.

Here is here Guest List: Being a Full Time Mum – The Lows to the Highs.

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• The chaos! From crayons in the washing machine, shoes down the toilet and forever tripping over toys, our home is an eternal obstacle course.

• Finger prints EVERYWHERE.

• The whining… “Mum, mum, mum, mum, MUMMMMMMMMMMM!”

• The annoyance of having to schedule meal times into any plans I want to make. A hungry kid is the worst kind of kid.

• Food battles. Groan.

• Interrupted sleep, a bed full of children and continual bed swapping. It is very rare for someone in my house to wake up where they fell asleep.

• Always cleaning, never clean.

• Personal care slacks some what… hair, makeup, shavin…say what?

• And laundry is relentless.

• The poo, wee, snot, regurgitated food. You really do find yourself regularly asking yourself “Is that shit or chocolate?”

• Disney character marketing. You damn evil geniuses. Yes frozen is somehow repeatedly spoken about in my house because of underwear, flip–flops, plasters and fucking Rice Krispies.

• The colour pink. Puke.

• Never alone in the bath-room.

• Never alone full stop yet somehow, pangs of lonliness.

• The constant test of all your emotions.

• Obsessions on their future and anxieties of anything that could go wrong.

• Extreme tiredness.

• Money worries.

• The warmth when I watch them doing something amazing.

• The pride when I see how fantastic in every way they already are.

• The realisation of how strong the feeling of love really is. A mother’s love really is unbeatable. I no longer matter. All that matters is them. But only because that is what my happiness now depends on. Their happiness.

• The pure humiliation and entertainment of the things they say to strangers– “Guess what? (to the next door neighbour who bends over the wall warmly and smiles waiting to find out what) My daddy’s friends all have willies!”. 

• The laughter! For this short period, the people in my household think Muzz and I are the funniest, coolest and most awesome people in the world. It’s our own little fan–club. Shucks. 

• The performances and plays. My eldest daughter recently sat us all down for a very dramatic reenaction of ‘let it go’. It was something else. These moments will stay with me forever.

• My newfound interest in their passions– from dancing to dinosaurs I want to learn with them and support them in their learning.

• The artwork. Magical pictures, cards, necklaces, you name it. Some I will keep forever, others I keep for a week.

• Board games. They really do bring a family together! As do proper meal times around the table. This also makes me want to cook well.

• The plays, solos, games of sport. Being an observer of each child’sdevelopment. The joy when they exceed themselves, the pain for them when they are let down. An emotional rollercoaster is an understatement. But their personal journeys are everything to me.

• The conversations. Not just between the children and myself, hearing theirs between each other! They are so wonderful and listening tothem chat about anything fills me with joy. And cracks me up.

  Susannah’s friend– “Is it evening?”

  Susannah– No silly evening is very far away. It’s always tomorrow you see.”

  Susannah’s friend–“Oh yes. Except for yesterday, it was quite close yesterday,”

  Susannah– “Yes, it was.”

• Seeing things again for the first time through my children’s eyes. Nature, films, music, literature, museums, other countries. The world is a fascinating place and children really remind me of that.

• My need to be the best version of myself just for them, to lead the best example I’m capable of. I am always trying to be a good person so they will hopefully follow my lead. I don’t know how much time I would have given to doing that without children.

• Acknowledging character strengths I didn’t know I had. I have been tested more than I ever thought I would in a lifetime. By them. And I am one tough cookie.

• Accepting that bad days are human. I may be strong but I am not indestructible. There are days where I shout and cry and hate myself. Once the kids are in bed, I drown my sorrows, sob into a pizza box and indulge in the worst kind of tv. This is ok!!!! And if anything, the bad days give you a bloody good reason to do all those things.

• The strengthening of friendships as you experience parenting challenges together.

• The way that motherhood is beyond explainable. And can fill you with respect and awe for total strangers.

• And any occasion, particularly Christmas. The love shared, and moments are what being alive is about. The constructing of these times is the family photo album that later on we all look back on. And I will cry every time.

• The way it has made my love with Muzz even deeper and stronger. Sharing a family together has filled us with more respect and understanding for each other than ever before. I am the luckiest woman alive.