Going ‘Overdue’ Made Me Mental

Going ‘Overdue’ Made Me Mental

Pregnant. Pissed-off & Irrational
Pregnant. Pissed-off & Irrational

This time last year I was extremely pregnant (40+6) and freaking out.

 After months of preparation, my ‘worse case sceanrio’ was happening- I was overdue AGAIN. Though with the benefit of hindsight (and no hormones coursing through my body) I can see that a few extra days being pregnant makes no difference, at the time I went into a tailspin of insane behaviour, including:


 

  • Felt angry towards friends for giving birth when they should have known it was my turn.

  • Cried hysterically with jealousy of the above.

  • Thought/felt as if I may actually stay pregnant forever.

  • Googled: ‘longest pregnancy in history.’

  • Hate everyone who told me to have curry and pineapple.

  • Whilst scoffing both in vast quantities anyway.

  • Attempted the unthinkable: have sex.

  • Discussed concerns about hubby’s willy potentially poking baby’s head.

  • Pleaded with my body to feel pain. What other instance in life are desperate to feel an agonising cramp?

  • Studied my discharge extensively.

  • Discussed my discharge extensively.
  • Thought every poo was a ‘sign’

  • Thought every fart was a sign.

  • Ate all  the snacks from my birth bag.

  • Twice.

  • Spent £100+  on alternative therapy trying to get baby out.

  • Cursed anyone who told me their baby was early – for ‘bragging’.

  • Sulked.

  • Attempted ‘self-examination’ to determine possibly dilation. Failed.

  • Swore that ‘this child takes after its father.’ I’m always punctual.

  • Sway back and forth between thinking I desperately wanted an induction NOW, to thinking I’d definitely decline an induction.

  • Asked my poor Mum, who’d come to take care of me, to go elsewhere because I couldn’t stand the pressure of her being in the house.

  • Began everyday optimistically thinking that ‘today is the day’. Only to get to 7pm feeling miserable that yet again it wasn’t.

  • Cried.

  • Went over and over and over and over the plans for what would happen to my first boy when i did eventually go into labour.

  • Said things like “it’d be awful if it came during that rugby match/dinner party” when deep down I thinking it’d be excellent if it came any time at all.

  • Sulked.

  • Felt like a failure with every passing day.

  • Question every baby name we had on our shortlist.
  • Cried.

  • Gave up wearing anything but joggers. Those maternity clothes were taunting me.

  • Had evil thoughts about everybody that text saying ‘any news??’ YOU’LL KNOW WHEN THE BABY IS HERE YOU NOSEY PARKER.

  • Felt like a mug for all those weeks of counting down to a now irrelevant date.

  • Realised I am definitely a control freak.

  • Then after all the madness and the crying I emailed Hollie De Cruz AKA @theyesmummum AKA founder of London Hypnobirthing my then Hypnobirthing teacher, now buddy, who replied with a bit of sane and genuinely useful advice:

Lovely Clemmie…firstly, a big virtual hug for you! What you’re feeling is COMPLETELY normal, so please don’t think there’s anything wrong in having a wobble or feeling unsure about things.

It sounds like your body is doing all the right things to get ready for labour. Having surges on and off isn’t “false starts” – it’s your uterus warming up for the big event and it’s a really encouraging sign. Also remember that it really is just a matter of time before labour starts. Pregnancy doesn’t last forever, even though the last few days can feel like it. In terms of how to approach the next week, I’d say there would be little harm in having a sweep at this stage, because if things are teetering on the edge, it could just give things the nudge it needs to get going.

First though, I’d spend this weekend (and next week) giving a good old bash at the following:

Dates – try and eat 6 dates a day. Even if you think they’re rank. Which they are.
Nipples – you know nipples are my answer to everything (what a sentence). Either get Ben to let loose with some nipple stimulation (if you can combine it with a bit of sex/clitoral stimulation/climax, all the better!), OR, try and hand express some milk, or even use a pump if you have one.
Clary Sage oil – get hold of some of this and inhale it from a hanky, and also put some in a warm bath and have a soak whilst listening to your affirmations MP3.
Walk walk walk – you know the drill, keep as active as possible and rest when you need to.

The other thing I’d suggest doing, is listening to the fear release MP3 and the birth rehearsal MP3 – if you don’t still have them I’ll send them over on WeTransfer now. The anxiety you’re feeling may be the very thing stopping you from going into labour. You must produce oxytocin in order for labour to begin, and the body is simply incapable of producing this when there’s any kind of anxiety or worry around. So anything that’s going to get the oxytocin and endorphins flowing may just give baby the nudge it needs…so laughter, intimacy, light touch massage, deep relaxation, feeling happy and safe.

In terms of induction, all I’d suggest is that you make the decision that feels right for you. Use your BRAIN (benefits, risks, alternatives, instinct, nothing) and make an informed and personal decision. Personally, if you and your baby remain healthy, I would wait for things to get going naturally, which it sounds like they already are, and have faith that your body and your baby know exactly when the time is right. This is a great article that could strike a chord with you at the moment: http://www.mothering.com/articles/the-last-days-of-pregnancy-a-place-of-in-between/

Thinking of you, and keep visualising that beautiful baby in your arms. You’ve got this.

Hollie xx

PS Yep, absolutely impossible All women are capable of going into spontaneous labour if the conditions are right (ie adrenalin isn’t inhibiting oxytocin production). Hence the key here is doing all the things that will cut off any adrenalin. I bet if you had a sweep next week they’d tell you you’re already 1-2cm dilated…ie. you already are in the latent stage of labour. Xx:

Four days later I sent this:

IMG_0330
Brand New Bubba

He’s here! Woodrow Victor Telford arrived at home on 1.05pm on sunday lunch time.

You were so right – I had a sweep on saturday and was already 3 cm dilated, and it obviously gave my body the nudge I needed.

I can honestly say the birth was exactly as I wanted. It was incredibly intense and hardwork. But I stayed calm and in-control through out. And did it all without pain relief. Woody ended up arriving on the toilet and in his amniotic sac! 

I had so many demons hanging over my head from Bertie’s birth and I feel like they’ve all been put to bed. It’s just wonderful to look back at the experience of labour and feel proud and empowered.
 
I should also add that I couldn’t have done it without Ben. He absolutely went through it with me. Again, so different from last time.
 
Theres so much to say. But I’m too baby brained to articulate it properly.
 
Hypnobirthing is amazing.You are amazing. I really am eternally grateful – expect a stream of my pregnant friends coming your way.
 
Lots of love, 
Clemmie

And ‘just like that’ being ‘overdue’ was irrelevant.

You see, your due date is just a finger in the air. Baby will come when it is ready. More than likely somewhere between 37-42 weeks. Pinning your hopes on one day is setting yourself for surprise or disappointment. 

By ‘my dates’ both Bertie & Woody were born at 41+1, so that’s what I’ll ‘loosely’ have in mind next time. But you know what? I fully expect that to be utterly irrelevant too.

More on Woody’s birthday (and reminiscing about his birth) to follow next week…

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4 thoughts on “Going ‘Overdue’ Made Me Mental

  1. “Asked my poor Mum, who’d come to take care of me, to go elsewhere because I couldn’t stand the pressure of her being in the house.”. Sounds SO familiar! I had to ask my mum to leave after she came to stay and and help before I had Matilda! But what she actually did was just loiter behind me in the kitchen asking if she could do anything. Back home you go, mum. God I still feel bad!! It’s a good job she didn’t stay until I went into labour because I never did! Matilda came on day 16 over due after 3 days of god awful induction and an emergency c section. But she’s here now and AWESOME!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Asked my poor Mum, who’d come to take care of me, to go elsewhere because I couldn’t stand the pressure of her being in the house.”. Sounds SO familiar! I had to ask my mum to leave after she came to stay and and help before I had Matilda! But what she actually did was just loiter behind me in the kitchen asking if she could do anything. Back home you go, mum. God I still feel bad!! It’s a good job she didn’t stay until I went into labour because I never did! Matilda came on day 16 over due after 3 days of god awful induction and an emergency c section. But she’s here now and AWESOME!

    Like

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