In January  I went along to my first Mothers Meeting. I was nervous, excited and in awe of the women I met there.

I didn’t have a blog and had just taken a few random snaps on Instagram.

To say I am blown-away to have now, 11 months later,  been asked by Jenny to speak at a Mothers Meeting Event is an understatement. Especially as I am doing it alongside some of my very fave people – @midwifeyhooper @theyesmummum @stephdontbuyherflowers & @dresslikeamum.

What an honour! But also how terrifying! What on earth have I go to say? I feel like a TOTAL blagger!!

But in the face of a panic, I have done what I always do; I’ve written a list…

‘How to Build a Social Network’:

• Find your tone of voice/brand voice. Try and write how you speak, that way you’ll always ‘sound’ like you.

• My ‘brand’ is all about honesty and (trying) to laugh at the craziness of parenthood. I love swooning over monochrome IG accounts, but for me its really important to be reminded that that isn’t real. 

• I don’t plan too much, I try not to construct shots and I don’t delete. I’m not judging anyone who does, but it doesn’t fit with my vibe.

• My kids are hard work, but they are the best that have ever happened to me and I try to reflect that in my posts. I try to avoid being ranty and negative. 

• Learn from other people, but don’t copy. As a kid my sister waited until I had chosen my ice-cream, so she could order the same thing. At the time in drove me mad,  now I see that it was gorgeous. Same applies in social-media: don’t see it as ‘them copying you’, but as ‘you  inspiring them’, which feels lovely.

• Give yourself a break. There are times when you need to switch into ‘survival mode’.  When I first returned work after mat leave, or when me and my hubby are in a rough spot – I don’t manage to post stuff.  That’s ok, being honest doesn’t mean airing your dirty laundry.

• Reach-out! ( horrid phrase – sozza!). Including the Guest List feature on Mother of All Lists has been brilliant. It’s increased my network/followers and given me a chance to chat to all sorts of different women.

• Both Mummy’s Favourite Boys. I have an irrational fear of my kid’s looking through my IG and thinking I have a  favourite. So I consciously try to put equal amounts of pictures of each of them up.

• Haters gonna hate. My brothers don’t like me putting shots of me in my bra on the World Wide Web. And I am pretty sure old friends are sceptical of my new Online Friends. But if it feels right for you, then there is no need to justify it.

• Structure and consistency. I like both so I apply a bit to my social media use. As a rule I Instagram every day (sometimes twice, never more).  Blog once a week. Twitter sporadically.

• Know when enough is enough. I don’t vlog or Periscope or Pinterest.  They look amazing, but I know I’ll get hooked. And I’ve got a 3.5 loads of washing that need to take priority…

• Forget the numbers. Do NOT get those apps that tell you how many followers you have gained/lost. They only wind up making you feel shitty.

• Have an awareness of WHEN you put stuff up.  My ‘audience’ live a similar life to me.  6.30am post or 9pm (when you are suppose to be watching TV not checking your phone) both tend to get good responses.

• Take a risk. The stuff that I think ‘this is a bit odd’ or makes me feel slightly uncomfortable about putting out there, often does well. A list I did about Anxiety was difficult to write but sharing my experience with others was actually really therapeutic. 

• Two way conversation. Ask questions. Sounds obvious but I ask questions to things I want to know the answer to i.e Woody recently discovered his willy which he is VERY pleased about, I asked folks if ‘little girls love their ‘bits’ as much?’ The responses were brilliant..

• And answer people when they talk to you (it’s only polite). I can’t do it all the time, but I try my best.

• To hashtag or not to hashtag? I ‘get’ that it can look desperate, but it does pull in new audiences. I also like a comedy hashtag #mummyisatwat #whatwoodyate and Mother Pukka’s #parentingtheshitoutoflife 

• It’s ok to do stuff a bit ‘off brand’ – I am person I like a do stuff that might not be very popular. Buts thats ok, it makes me real.

• Likes aren’t everything. Sometimes posts that get very few likes, get lots of comments – which in marketing talk means ‘deeper interaction.’ Wanky but good.

• Most of all don’t take it too bloody seriously. It’s rewarding to connect to people, to have people read what you have got to say. Or to get a laughing-cat emoji. But nothing beats meeting people in actual real life and drinking a bucket of  gin, dancing a bit, scoffing some food and realising that we aren’t alone in this.