Blogging. Why Bother?

Blogging. Why Bother?

screen-shot-2017-02-03-at-9-09-36-amBlogging is a funny old game. I still cringe introducing myself as a blogger. But then again my brother, who is a musician, feels embarrassed about carrying a guitar about. Maybe it’s the same thing? Or just a classic case of imposter syndrome.

Anyway here’s a list about why I share my ramblings with the world:


  • I actually had a blog 5 years ago called Lists on the Northern Line. I was in the middle of a terrible phase of anxiety* which meant I had daily panic attacks on the ‘tube part’ of my commute. Writing lists became my distraction/coping mechanism.

  • Although I enjoyed writing it. I didn’t really have a reason for doing it. So it petered out.

  • 3 years and 2 kids later, in March 2015, Mother of All Lists was born.

  • Here’s why:

  • Parenting is hard.

  • It makes you feel as if everyone is having a better, easier time than you.

  • Parenting can be lonely and relentless. Days can go by without having an adult conversation.

  • Sustained sleep deprivation fucks you up.

  • It can strip away your identity.

  • It messes with your confidence.

  • Makes you question: how to dress, who your mates are and what you want out of life.

  • And back when I had Bertie I couldn’t find anyone to help me navigate the madness.

  • My Mum lives abroad.

  • My siblings were still firmly in the having fun stage.

  • And we were the first of our friends to have a kid. So I looked elsewhere for advice, guidance and a sanity check.

  • Parenting books were too heavy going. (I’m always been the sort of girl who preferred to  watch the film/get the study guide rather than read the set text).

  • Mumsnet was too negative. I saw people sharing their baby name ideas and then being ripped to pieces for their choices.

  • ( I’m of the opinion that if you grow the human, it’s your choice what to call them).

  • ANYWAY after having Woody, my second, I felt more confident. As if I had graduated from an amateur parent to a competent one.

  • At which point I thought I’d have a go at sharing some of my experiences:

  • Doing so cleared my head. It got my baby brain back in gear. And seeing those first 1o’s and 100’s of reads come in gave me a thrill to do it again.

  • I learnt from my peers: Unmumsy Mum, Hurrah For GinMother Pukka, Susie Verrill, Step Don’t Buy Her Flowers and of course Clemmie Hooper.

  • I learnt it was ok to have mixed feelings about your small humans. To find them insanely annoying but heart hurtingly amazing.

  • It’s ok to question why you did it. And think ‘My old life child-free life was actually really good, why did we we mess it up?’

  • To find your marriage under massive strain. The way I spoke to Ben after a string of bad nights was frankly appalling.

  • It’s ok to say ‘I’m struggling’.

  • It’s ok to be genuinely worried about your postpartum hair.

  • And to respect your body for growing a human, but not like the way it looks in the aftermarth.  

  • It’s also ok to still REALLY like fashion. But have now clue how to ‘Dress Like a Mum’ (thankfully Zoe came to the rescue ).

  • It’s ok to occasionally wear red lipstick to the park just to cling on to a tiny bit of your own identity.

  • It’s ok to cover puke/wee/snot/vomit with a towel rather than endure more washing.

  • It’s ok to: use a dummy/co-sleep/cuddle them too much/mix feed/feed them to sleep/ follow a routine/have zero routine. It’s OK TO DO WHAT EVER YOU NEED TO DO TO SURVIVE.

  • It’s ok to want to be free from your kid but feel too bound to them to allow yourself that freedom.

  • It’s ok  to want to hold on to your career. Doesn’t mean you don’t feel a pang of guilt every Monday.

  • Equally, it’s ok to want to choose to staying at home. Doesn’t mean you don’t feel a pang of envy on Monday morning.

  • And it’s ok to crack into the prosecco/gin & tonic on a Friday afternoon whilst doing kids tea. Pizza with an all important carrot sticks on the side to ease your conscience.

  • Blogging/Instagram has given me the confidence to say all of the above. It’s helped me know who I am.

  • It has given me an incredible support network. Every time a stranger reaches out to say ‘hope you are ok.’ It blows me away. 

  • Every like, follow, share, comment is not only humbling it’s sanity saving. It’s given me so so many laughs at the disastrous, life-affirming, maddening, hilarious, emotional and often shitty experience of being Mum. So Thank You, Thank You very much for going on this journey with me.

Screen Shot 2017-01-31 at 3.05.12 PM.png
First ever post on Mother of All Lists
*Here’s a list I wrote about anxiety, entitled: ‘Anxiety is a Bitch.’

 

 

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17 thoughts on “Blogging. Why Bother?

  1. Love love love this!! Struggling Mama of an almost one year old and agree with everything above. Thank you for being your tremendous honest self. x

    Like

  2. Stranger danger alert 🚨 I’m a dad of a 5 week old and not a mum, but I bloody love this! Every point you’ve said is coming apparent, keeep em coming! Keeping us sane!

    Like

  3. Love it.
    Only part is slightly disagree with is mumsnet comments. Most commentators on there are helpful and, best of all, honest (without being cruel). It’s absolutely brilliant and invaluable to be able to get anonymous and HONEST feedback on name choices on there. It doesn’t mean you can’t ultimately name your child whatever the F you want. But you get a chance to get the opinions that you just wouldn’t get if you asked family or friends. Plus it’s not unsolicited advice and comments- the parent has asked for it!

    Like

  4. This is utterly amazing and you should be so proud of being so open and doing justice to parents everywhere, giving them reality, support and being so genuine. I laughed out loud as my boy is called Bertie and I find being a mum amazing and so god damned exhausting and draining too. Don’t we all…anyway well done xx

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  5. Keeping me sane after a long night of breastfeeding and grumbles with my 4 week old, remembering Sunday morning hangover lie ins and fry ups (or any meal) served hot and at a table with both hands. Thank you! X

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  6. Love love love this! We’ve got a two and half year old and a 14 month old (15 month age gap) and I have days where I want to run away because it’s so bloody tough. I love going to work and I’m not afraid to admit it πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  7. 7 months in and very much feeling like an amateur but blogs like yours make me feel less of a fraud. This list made me giggle but also tear up, especially the freedom point. Thank you

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  8. Really great post. I’ve started a blog and you’ve just reinforced about a dozen reasons why I should carry on even when it seems like I have 100 “better” things to do with my time. Because blogging is the time for me and that’s more important than those 100 other things. (Apart from feeding my children carrot sticks.) So thank you.x

    Like

  9. Totally not what you are talking about here but an I ask how you overcame your tube fears? It’s something I’ve been struggling with for years and since staying home with the boys it’s become worse.

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    1. Largely it was down to my CBT course. Getting to the root of the problem i.e. Figuring out that ‘not being able to get out’ was what scared me, then rationalising that? Imagining what would what happen if we did get stuck? And realising the reality wouldn’t actually be that bad. also learning about the science behind panic attacks – that they are an adrenaline surge, but that they peak and once they’ve peaked they will always get better. So rather than fight it, just accept the feelings. Sounds a load of advice, spluttered on a page, but hopefully it can help in some way? Sending lots of love. Xxxx

      Like

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