Gemma Capocci’s Guest List: For and Against Baby Number 3

Growing up having 3 kids was very much the norm. In fact, round me, there were several families who had four plus kids (including us), but these days is less common. Perhaps because we started having kids older? or the cost of bigger houses. That doesn’t mean 3 is off the cards, just that it something that takes a bit of thinking about.

Love this one from Gemma Capocci AKA @coffeekidsicecream who weighs up the pro’s and con’s of ‘going again’:

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Deciding whether to have a baby is a big decision for anyone – whether it’s your first, second or fifth.  There is the change of lifestyle to consider, finances, the size of your car, house and of course whether you’re willing to give up dancing to R Kelly’s Ignition with your work mates in the local cheesy boozer for a few months years.

However, the biggest decision for me would have to be whether to jump from the relative calm of two kids (ha!), to the outright chaos of three.  After a little consideration, the other half and I decided to dive straight in and are expecting our third bundle this October.  But for anyone who wants to take a more thoughtful (and frankly sane) approach, these are my arguments for and against baby number 3.

AGAINST

• YOU’RE OUTNUMBERED – there are two parents, and you only have two hands, which means if you have three children you’re basically outnumbered at all times. I appreciate there must be magical ways to do the following because as far as I’m aware, three kids or more doesn’t result in you being totally housebound, but how do you do simple things like get three mini beasts across the road safely? Go supermarket shopping or, in fact, go anywhere at all?  I imagine organisation is key, which is worrying for someone who can rarely locate her car keys. But if all else fails, I guess you just fall back on the holy grail of parenting advice…just wing it, right?

• SLEEP – Boy, I love a good kip. And as is generally known, it’s not something us parents get in abundance.  The thought of wrestling with a small creature in the wee hours as I delicately try to place her in the bed nest beside me, only for her tiny eyes to shot wide open and for her piercing scream to wake the whole household, actually fills my throat with bile.  But you never know, maybe the next one will sleep?  Ha! Dream on!

• SUPER SIZED – For us, baby number 3 will mean a bigger house (thank fudge for bunk beds in the meantime), a larger car and more expensive holidays. There is all the extra baby gear, particularly if you haven’t been sensible enough to save the last lot ( whoops).  The bigger food bill, potential school fees, the list goes on.  In short a lot of dollar and a serious dent in your finances.  Be prepared! 

 

• YOUR BODY – Or more importantly, your pelvic floor. Can that underdeveloped muscle in your nether region, remembered only in the odd Pilates class, really withstand the pressure of another childbearing down against it?  In my case, it appears not, as I have pissed my pants from every sneeze and cough from roughly week five onwards.  Fun in hay fever season! And don’t forget the general stretching, loosening and vagina tearing.  They say it takes 9 months to grow a baby, and 9 months to recover.  For my body and baby 3, I’m guessing it might be more like 9 years… #myvaginawillneverbethesame

 

• HAVE A LINE READY – All women who have been through a pregnancy will know that when you’re building a baby your body and all topics of conversation around said baby become free game for discussion. But baby number 3 brings on a whole new line of questioning,

• ”You’re brave!?”

• “Are you mad””

• “Was it planned?”

• I could go on…

• So have a line ready to pull out in such circumstances.  Mine goes something along the lines of, “Yes I must be mad!  Nope, not a practical decision… yep, always wanted a big family” and so forth.  Also, for some reason, your decision to extend your family will always make those who have decided to stick at two explain their own choices as if you’re somehow judging them for not joining you in bashing out baby 3.  A word to the wise, practice your best smile and nod game in preparation

• THE NOISE – I currently spend 95% of my time screaming, “BE QUUUIEET!” at my children whilst wishing I could obtain a small, non-serious injury that would require an overnight hospital stay, just to get some bloody P&Q. Chuck another kid in, this can only get worse…much worse…

FOR

 

• BECAUSE I WANT ONE – There isn’t much rationale here. Like I said, the other half and I dove straight in because we knew we always wanted three – we both have two siblings and for us, that just feels the norm.  When I was pregnant with my second, I knew I wasn’t done, and despite all practicalities and sensible thinking, our little (or big) family just wouldn’t be complete without adding baby 3 to the brood. It’s as simple as that

• JUGGLING – The ultimate counter-argument to the outnumbered case above, but I personally found the jump from one to two children super difficult. You go from being able to shower all your love and attention on your first baby, to suddenly having to share it with another equally precious bundle.  Impossible!  But once you have got a grip on that (aka you’ve learned to shout, “JUST WAAAAIT!” at the top of your lungs), throwing in an extra kid isn’t going to be much harder, right?  RIGHT?

• LOVE – at the risk of making you barf up your breakfast, or whatever meal you last consumed, how can you resist the thought of another gorgeous child to love? My kids are beyond excited at the prospect of their baby sister arriving, and seeing how their relationship has grown in closeness (when they’re not dobbing each other in of course) makes my heart swell immeasurably with love.  And worse case, the more kids we have, the more likely it is someone one of them will be willing to wipe our arses when we’re old and decrepit … please?

  

  Gemma’s lovely bump at 20 week / half-way stage