Perfectly Imperfect and That’s OK

MOTHER OF ALL LISTS

 

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We ain’t perfect but we are happy

It’s sounds like a massive cliche but life really is a journey.  I am learning more about myself and who I am as a Mum along the way. And in turn more about what I want from blogging.

 

I’ve realised my main objective is to be real. So here is a list of the ways me and my life are perfectly imperfect:


  • I sometimes (more often than I’d like to admit) forget to brush the kid’s teeth.
  • We change our bed linen about every three weeks.
  • Sometimes my eldest’s bed linen has a faint whiff of wee.
  • I only remember to wash the towels when they start to smell damp.
  • 1 in 5 plants will die in my care.
  • I never iron.
  • I do occasionally use hair straighteners to sort out the worst creases.
  • I pass off homemade cards from the kids as a cute craft project. The reality is I forget to pick actual ones of from Paperchase. Also, four quid for a card is a piss take!
  • My kids often eat pesto pasta more than once a week. I change the side vegetables though. So that’s ok.
  • Or fish fingers. Obvs.
  • I own several pairs of knickers that are older than Bertie.
  • Truthfully my biggest granny pants are my favourite.
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    Current freezer situation

    Until recently there was a dress at the bottom of the laundry basket that I last wore in my twenties.  I will never a) get round to getting it drycleaned b)  fit back into it.
  • I am a jealous friend. I get a pang envy when I see two mates hanging out with out me.
  • I aspire to buy classic high-end fashion pieces. But am still a sucker for novelty fashion bits.
  • I sometimes drink milk straight for the carton. It’s posh almond milk though, so….
  • I sometimes (always) pretend to ignore that the bin needs taking out.
  • I haven’t kept-up with my first born’s baby book. I didn’t even start one with my second.  Documenting their entire lives on social media an excellent alternative though.  They’re sure to treasure those pixelled squares in years to come
  • My cupboards and draws are all a mess. And not just a bit.
  • The wendy house has become a very small garden shed where we shameless shove random shit.
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    Our ‘Art Cupboard’.

  • Our car. How do I even begin to explain how hideous our car is?
  • Most of the play dough is either mixed to a nondescript brown shade, either that or its rock hard.
  • Our jigsaw puzzles are in complete.
  • The majority of lego men are headless
  • The olive oil hasn’t got a lid.
  • The pestle has no mortar.
  • I only buy grated cheese because I am too lazy to grate it for the kids.
  • Often the garlic, onion and potatoes have sprouted.
  • I never clean the oven.
  • Can never find the sellotape.
  • There are 3 layers of varnish on my toes. I couldn’t find the remover.
  • And as for the Plastics/Tupperware drawer. It only consists of mismatched sets and untouched pink Ikea plates, cups, bowls and cutlery which my boys CATEGORICALLY REFUSE TO USE.
  •  I NEVER listen to my voicemails.
  • I recently had to remove my knickers midway through the day because they were cutting into my thigh.
  • I then went to dinner commando.
  • The boys end up in our bed every single night.
  • And no. The Gro Clock doesn’t work on them. Partly because I’m incapable of learning to set it even though I’ve read the instructions 67 times.
  • I know for a fact there’s a Christmas decoration (a large sparkly reindeer) on the shelf downstairs. It’s July. But hey we are nearer to next Christmas than last. So may as well leave him there.
  • There are at least 3 unsheathed tampons at the bottom of my bag.
  • They are frequently accompanied by a flaccid Babybel.
  • We still haven’t written Thank You Cards from The Boys Birthdays.  In November and January.
  • That one genuinely makes me feel sick with shame.
  • Now I have started this list I don’t know if it’ll ever end.
  • You see there are SO many things that fall short of the ideal version of my life.
    Screen Shot 2017-07-16 at 8.50.46 PM.png

    Ball Pit of Doom

  • I reckon I could write it indefinitely.
  • But the reason I am writing them is not as some sort of list of shame.
  • The opposite.
  • I want to make prove to myself how minor they are.
  • How they aren’t worth worrying about.
  • I HOPE that these imperfection don’t make me rubbish or useless. They just make me really really normal.
  • Our house is respectable and homely.
  • My children are loved and healthy (although currently recovering from Chicken Pox).
  • My husband and I like each other the majority of the time.
  • We sometimes have sex.
  • I have a circle of incredible mates. We may not see as much as we once did. But when we do we have an excellent time.
  • My body isn’t as firm as it once was. My face isn’t as flawless. But it’s holding up OK.
  • The dog gets walked. (He only drinks from the potty once a week).
  • The dishwasher gets put on.
  • The mortgage gets paid.
  • We are happy. We are safe and we are trying our best.
  • Someone recently DM’d me with this AMAZING piece of advice.
  • It’s so good that it requires capital letters:
  • WE JUDGE THE WORST OF OURSELVES BY THE BEST OF EVERYBODY ELSE.
  • Take a moment to take that in.
  • It’s true. So so true.
  • Don’t believe the versions of peoples lives what you see online or even when you go round to have a glass of wine.
  • Everybody has crap hidden in their cupboards or stashed under the bed.
  • Everybody argues about the fact that men are incapable of seeing the stair pile.
  • Nobody has an underwear drawer of expensive, well fitting undies. Surely even the ones that do have a pair of ‘period pants’ lurking at the back?
  • Life is far too short to worry about immaculate bathrooms.
  • Truth is I’d rather my kids described to me as fun than pictured me as tidy but uptight.
  • I don’t expect them to be perfect. I love their flaws.
  • I want them to strive for happiness, not perfection.
  • I figure the way to do that is to lead by example.
  • To give ourselves a break.
  • To focus on feelings, not appearances.
  • Better a home filled with headless lego men and sticky Marmite jars, than a perfect facade with no space for soul, fun and the occasional spot of madness.
  • That’s my excuse anyway.
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    Me in all my glory. Learning to be ok with being Perfectly Imperfect.

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39 Comments

  • Reply annainphilly14 July 17, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    I bloody loved this! Laughed out loud at many of your points as I can see them in my house too. You’re doing an amazing job – thanks for sharing and making me realise there is perfection in my imperfections.

  • Reply TheMumblings July 17, 2017 at 8:03 pm

    Blimey! It’s as if you wrote my list! Cracking post chick.

  • Reply Rosie Frost July 17, 2017 at 8:56 pm

    Bravo! This list get’s better and better – you had me half way through – the pants cutting into your thigh! brilliant..! You were always better at keeping it real than all the other mum bloggers.. I stopped following them, I still follow you because you are real, thank you! xx

    Rosie Frost +447787775830

    Global Project Manager http://www.theinnovationcollective.com Linkedin: uk.linkedin.com/in/rosiefrost Twitter: @InnovCollective

    >

  • Reply Stayingsaneasamummyof3 July 17, 2017 at 10:12 pm

    It’s as if you crept into our house and wrote about us! Including the Christmas decoration! Excellent post x

  • Reply itsadrama July 18, 2017 at 1:27 am

    Are you stalking me??? How cone you know all these things about be but I’ve never met you😳 Fantastic post! Liz

  • Reply Rachel Hodson July 18, 2017 at 7:23 am

    Oh my god. I could have written this list!! All bar three pairs of my pants are older than both my children. And £4 for a card is a pisstake. Which I why I shop.at Card Factory. Perfectly good cards. Maximum spend is about 99p! It’s going to end up in the recycling in a week anyway.
    Personal highlights and relatable points include
    Three layers of varnish on toes (at least they’re painted right?!)
    Forgetting to brush teeth (mostly weekend mornings)
    Pasta multiple times a week. At least yours get Pesto. Mine get Philadelphia (actually Aldi own version).
    Jealous friend
    Baby book.

    Much love. Awesome list x

  • Reply Nickie July 18, 2017 at 7:50 am

    Me too! Eeek juggling work and children has been a constant feeling of guilt for me that something’s not always done 😞
    . I’ve sponged yoghurt/ paint off my sons school jumper when I’ve realised I have not got a spare clean (in defence my son can loose anything)
    .I once signed my sons reading book when he had not read it as I had had a super busy day at work (No excuse haha #hangsheadinshame)

  • Reply Sharon July 18, 2017 at 8:01 am

    Excellent!!
    Not just your job to wash sheets and towels tho surely?! Ben too?

    • Reply Clemmie Telford July 18, 2017 at 8:02 am

      Definitely! We are both as crap as each other x

  • Reply Jane July 18, 2017 at 8:05 am

    Have you crept into my house?! This list is me, too. And my daughter has a Christmas stocking on her door handle. And I wait till the floor fluff has legs before getting the hoover out. But we’re happy!

  • Reply 1ofeachblog July 18, 2017 at 8:10 am

    This is my life too!
    I’m guessing your medicine cupboard contains a bottle of unopened gripe water from when you had your first baby?
    And you’ve got a broken Red Nose down the back of the sofa?
    And girl-problems in my life include finding hair clips and bobbles everywhere one day then none to be seen the next day!
    More than one pair of arm bands per child as you’ve been swimming and forgotten yours from home so had to buy them (again! £!)
    Oh, our perfectly imperfect lives!

    Keep the lists coming!!!
    @1ofeach
    Xxx

  • Reply Sarah Glover July 18, 2017 at 8:30 am

    I love this with you on all of this except almond milk never tried that one never ever commented on one of these before is this a blog? You are my life is that mental I don’t even know!! Thanks for this I don’t feel so very lonely anymore. 3 children 1 husband that works away I’m so time poor it’s ridiculous but yes the kids are healthy and happy I’m too fat but you can’t have it all, just relocated no friends yet hopefully someone takes pity!!

    • Reply Clemmie Telford July 18, 2017 at 8:33 am

      It is a blog!! And thanks for commenting! Rest assured you are not alone, there are SO many of us in similar boats. Well done you for relocating its brave to make a change. But it’s also amazing – see it as s whole new adventure! Big kiss and keep strong xx

  • Reply Polly July 18, 2017 at 9:06 am

    There with you on pretty much all of them! Thanks for writing such an honest list that makes me feel not so rubbish! X

  • Reply Amy Thompson July 18, 2017 at 9:18 am

    Love this list.
    So many of them I can relate to and made me laugh out loud!

    X

  • Reply Clare July 18, 2017 at 11:45 am

    I love this – it makes such a difference to know these things are normal. I wish I had read this when I had my eldest (now 10) – I was only telling a friend the other day how bad I feel for forgetting teeth cleaning. I love that people like you make it easier for people like me to be honest xx

  • Reply Jody Earnshaw July 18, 2017 at 12:25 pm

    Love this.
    All true.
    I add to the list that the excuse for all of them is that I’m a tragic divorcee/ single Mum when the truth is I’d be exactly the same with a partner and I’m ecstatically happy and not tragic at all 😉. Have a great day!! Xx

  • Reply emilybaynard July 18, 2017 at 3:13 pm

    This is the story of my life. And I get a mild personal satisfaction that it’s in writing. It makes me feel oddly accomplished and liberated that this list exists, even though I didn’t write it. Thank you, Clemmie! -Emmi (in the states)

  • Reply Kerri July 18, 2017 at 4:12 pm

    love this! I can relate to 100% of it! x

  • Reply Nancy Phillips July 18, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    Ha! I too have a random Christmas decoration in the kitchen?..

  • Reply Amanda Norman July 18, 2017 at 8:31 pm

    Brilliant!!! You’ve made me feel sooo much better because the majority of that list I could have written!!!

  • Reply Michelle July 18, 2017 at 11:12 pm

    I actually cleaned the oven today. First time in two years and took me two hours…it’s because we are moving on Monday! So I’m not even going to really benefit from this sparkly clean oven. In fact I have put a sign on it to say do not use 😉

  • Reply Sophie C July 19, 2017 at 9:01 am

    I really needed to read this – might bookmark it for future mum-anxiety moments! I need some help letting go of the little things sometimes.
    Oh and FYI “flaccid babybel” just made me laugh out loud in the office and everyone looked at my weirdly!! haha! 😀

  • Reply Laura July 19, 2017 at 10:54 am

    Basically- my life! Especially the frickin stair pile argument. And drawers/cupboards/wardrobes of doom. Oh and the bus tent we use to shove random toys and blankets and the travel booster seat in (all valid items for when pretending we are going somewhere on said bus). Love this! To quote the Yesmum “I have enough, I do enough, I am enough”

  • Reply Lou July 19, 2017 at 1:36 pm

    You are hilarious and one helluva great human bean. Keep that shit up!

  • Reply Leah July 19, 2017 at 1:48 pm

    wow, this is my life except mine also includes cobwebs….everywhere which my mum always points out. surely it’s my house and the cobwebs and spiders are happy….so are we

  • Reply Fiona Nield July 19, 2017 at 6:24 pm

    Bravo. 😂👍👍 my skirting boards (amongst other things ) are really quite dusty but in the small amount of time I’m not working, running around after the kids, enjoying being with them and them enjoying mummy being silly and fun I really don’t give a shit if they are clean!!!!! 😀😀

  • Reply Lucy July 19, 2017 at 8:22 pm

    I love your list Clemmie, thank you for being so honest, you’ve helped me feel so much better about my life this evening (I’m a working single mum of 2 and never feel on top of things!) x

  • Reply Saffron July 21, 2017 at 3:53 am

    I love this so much. I mean so many of these things are me the pants…the not washing towels and sheets… and NOT LISTENING TO VOICEMAILS (hate them thought I was the only one). When I first became a mum I thought I had to have everything perfect ordered clean etc. and while don’t get me wrong I do like clean and tidy but I don’t want my boy to see me as uptight either. Thanks for this!

  • Reply atayloredbrooklyn July 22, 2017 at 1:47 pm

    This is a true gem! Makes me feel much better about my own massive list of imperfections. Thanks for this and keep on being your imperfectly perfect self!

  • Reply lillies&lipstick July 22, 2017 at 7:39 pm

    Reblogged this on lillies&lipstick.

  • Reply V July 23, 2017 at 7:42 am

    Loved this so much!

    The homemade cards resale made me smile as I have done this SO many times!

  • Reply Sarah kane July 23, 2017 at 7:47 am

    This is absolutely the best thing I have EVER read!! It’s like reading about my own house that I am constantly apologising for as it’s so imperfect!! The things I haven’t got round to doing causes me daily stress as I’m made to feel that these are things I should have under control!! Knowing that you and I know many others are In The same boat makes that’s stress feel less (will always remain a little as my mother does like to point out what I should be doing!!!!) So for that Clemmie thank you and I genuinely mean it for being so brutally honest!!!

  • Reply litolmaeandlolly July 23, 2017 at 8:10 am

    Ahh someone speaks the truth at last!!! I constantly feel that ours, pales in comparison to other people’s ‘perfect’ lives, I definitely feel better knowing that we are, in fact, perfectly normal. Thanks lovely xx

  • Reply Mel July 23, 2017 at 8:57 am

    Love it! Made me feel normal!

  • Reply Pru July 23, 2017 at 9:11 am

    Bloody love this. I think the only ones I said no to was the one where you said you and your hubby still get on and have sex. I’m a single parent 😂. I’m happy I’m not a neurotic parent and my home is a home not a bloody show house ! I go to my sisters and she has no kids and within 3 mins of sitting on sofa she starts to panic and moves us to other cushions saying that we have to sit equally on each cushion ( the sofa is HUGE) to ensure they won’t sag individually 😂 At that point my daughter says ” mum can we go”
    Xx

  • Reply Sherine July 23, 2017 at 10:59 pm

    THANK YOU!!!! Feel like I wanna laugh and cry at the same time reading this. Sheer relief that there are others out there!!

  • Reply Tabs July 24, 2017 at 6:53 am

    Love it! Needed it! Thank you!

  • Reply Sonia August 21, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    Seriously yes ✅yes and yes ✅🙈

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