Guest List: Being Daddy to Triplets Girls

Triplets. That is next level isn’t it? Three new babies all at once!!! Going from a family a family of 3 (they already had a 4 year old henry) to a family of 6.

This is also the second time I’ve ever had a Dad brave enough to write. So thank you @daddy_to_triplets_girls– high-fives all round:

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• The day we found out I stood at work shaking having been told an hour earlier we were having triplets.
• At the scan Mumma C and I  laughed. Then cried. Then I had to sit down for a while as the nurses hugged us.
• Ironically my Mumma C had been really sick once we had the positive result I mean really sick (as in pull over on the M25 and throw up out the window sick). We thought it may be twins after looking on the net. We even joked there could be more in there……
•  As the time ticked by and the poppy seed’s turned into sunflower seeds and then Peanut’s and then grapes. The scans came thick and fast. We hit key milestones, 12 weeks then 20 weeks then it was Christmas and we started thinking blimey maybe THIS IS ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN.
•  Every time we believed it would happen the doctors kept us grounded and focused on the fact that the risks were so high.
• Then we found out it was 3 girls, 3 girls ….. 3 girls, I have no sisters, nieces…
• What are we going to do?  Boys are cool, boys like football and I like football. Boys like mud and I like mud.
• But what do girls like? Dancing I can’t dance, apart from when I’ve had a few beers at a wedding.
• At 24 weeks the girls hit the crucial milestone which meant they could technically survive if they were born and we announced we were having triplets to our friends (our family knew early on).
• The hardest part was the questions from people. We didn’t really know what we should do we just had to wing it and get on with it but we couldn’t do that until the little babies arrived!
• We hit the 30’s week and could see the light at the end of the tunnel. We finally got a date 6^th of April. As my wife grew from a slim 30 something women to a triple baby carrier we knew in our hearts that it now really was going to happen.

  

  The BIG day

 

• The birth. As we drove to the hospital we both were on top form. The day was finally here, we had the music on the radio and were in good spirits.

• That was the first moment we had The Special Treatment:  our own big room, we were called ‘The Triplet Parents’ by the nurses and doctors and it was all very good fun.

• Then the reality started to kick in. Now I know I am the man in this and I don’t go through the physical pain but I was scared, so so scared.

• I was scared my wife wouldn’t wake up.

• I was scared one of the babies wouldn’t survive.

• And, even though we had a baby previously. I really had no idea what to expect.

• Then it was time for my little family to go from 3 to 6 (7 if you include Reggie the beagle).

• The room was filled with at least 20 people: 3 doctors, 3 resuscitators, midwives, the anaesthetist, plus many more, that alone was completely daunting.

• Mumma C was laying on a bed and when I asked when they were going to perform the cut she said they already had, despite thinking I would want to see the babies leave the belly I couldn’t handle it.

• Within a matter of  seconds they pulled Annabella out lifted her up for us to see and put her straight into a towel and incubator.

• 1 minute later Florence was out.

• 1 minute later Lottie all the same drill.

• Within 3 minutes we had 3 children,

• I held my wife’s hand and we cried and cuddled. I have never been so proud of anyone in all my entire life. She even beat me to the joke of ‘you wait 3 years for a baby and 3 turn up’ the whole theatre was in hysterics, that’s her to a tee.

• It was amazing seeing them all there, the months of worry and uncertainty and here they were just laying so beautiful.

• When you have triplets they take them at 34 weeks latest so your told to expect 1 – 2 months in hospital (we spent 3).

• Mumma C was poorly after the birth I won’t go into detail but she had a negative allergic reaction. she ended up in hospital for 10 days.

• That was incredibly difficult.  I was caught in the impossible position of who needs me most my wife or my kids.

• The important thing is we got through it as a family.

• The girls reached more milestones:  breathing unaided, taking all the milk, maintaining body temp and weight and once Mumma C was back to full strength she was able to go home.

• As a man, and before the triplet, when the word routine was mentioned I would switch off.

• But one of the doctors told me to learn the feeding routine or your basically fucked and boy was he right.

• 10am feed and change triplet 1

• 10.30am feed and change triplet 2

• 11am feed and change triplet 3

• Repeat every 4 hours and under no circumstances change this.

• It’s a military operation which goes well most of the time.

• As a family we decided we were going to ‘get out and amongst it’ rather than let it stope us living our lives

• We take them to the seaside, to Costa, to Centre Parcs. We go to farms and zoo’s and all the other things normal people do, I think subconsciously it maybe because I don’t want Henry to miss out and I love our family time.

• Is it a nightmare?

• Yes of course.

• We get through a minimum of 20 nappies a day not including unscheduled poo explosions d 12 bottles on a constant cleaning sterilising cycle,  5 bottles of gripe water a week, 4 tins of premature milk a week, 3 bottles of Colief, a box of gaviscon etc etc.

 

• Whatever way you look at it having 3 babies doesn’t really work.

• There are very few buggy’s to choose from.

• You can only really hold and feed one at a time each

• Women only have two nipples etc.

• So you have to think on your feet: one cot will do to start with.  We put a rolled up towel to divide the cot into three parts and off you go…

• At the start of the journey we knew nothing about what we needed and what we may need, this was one of the reasons why I started my Instagram so I could help others by advising what is useful and what is just not needed in my opinion, 11 weeks in and I still have no idea,

• Beg, borrow and steal everything you can, people have been hugely generous to us and we have accepted everything to try out and see what works and what doesn’t.

• Donate what you don’t want and need to other people or the preemie stuff back to the hospital, but just don’t expect your house to be clear and don’t worry about it, I know I joke but I seriously don’t care anymore.

• I speak on Instagram to other triplet families. We share our wisdom as the reality is that only people who have had triplets know what its like to have triplets.

• Even then its different for everyone; some have better financial situations, some husbands work away, some have large and close family networks, some have other kids as well so whilst you can share you are still very alone in a way.

 

• And then you’ve got your other children: Henry is the sweetest and most gorgeous little boy.  I had to be persuaded to have children , but he came along  and it opened my eyes . I have loved every second.

• The hardest juggling act is keeping his life as close to how it was before as possible.

• Henry loves the girls. He loves getting hands on and feeding them so I would say involve your other child as much as possible. But also find the much needed time for them as well. Going out on your bike and chucking stones in the river is therapeutic for you as well as them.

• Keeping up your standards. People said to me, don’t worry about the housework and the grass and the shopping.

• In my opinion, yes do worry, your home is your castle.

• I don’t mean spend your life on your hands and knee’s cleaning the corners of the shed floor but do run the hoover round and cut the grass once a week even if it’s at 9 pm, it does make you feel better and like your winning.

• It is very hard, of course things get missed and things aren’t as clean as they were but just try!

• Same with going out and looking and feeling good, we all go down the shops in our PJ’s now and then but keep trying to dress and eat well – we have spag Bol 4 times a week but hey at least it’s a proper meal and all it takes is a slow cooker!

• Do it for yourself, not for anyone else that may pop round!

• The future. Who knows what it holds for any of us, what I do know is however much money we have or where we live or where we work we will have 4 amazing kids and that in itself is enough.

• Being a parent to any amount of children is so tough at times, they push you and your relationship to the line but we must stick together and embrace what we have, carry on being as silly as we can and having fun.

• Ridiculously I want another child as I don’t think I can handle never going through the whole pregnancy thing again but then again I would say that …..

  

  The Girls