BORN INTO A FAMILY OF JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES

Before sharing this list I want to remind people what Mother of All Lists stands for. It is a space for sharing individuals first-person stories about their own experiences. This anonymous writer came forward wanting to give a glimpse into her upbringing as a Jehovah’s Witness. It isn’t conclusive and of course does not represent the feelings or opinions of everyone who has been involved with the religion.  It is her experience, which she has written about bravely and from the heart.

• You may think you know a bit about Jehovah’s Witnesses.  They don’t celebrate Christmas, they go from door to door preaching and don’t accept blood transfusions. 

• I was born into a family of Jehovah’s Witnesses, I was a third generation Jehovah’s witness.

• They consider themselves a religion, referring to their beliefs as ‘The Truth’ but many who have left consider it to be a cult. 

• It was founded in 1870 by Charles Taze Russell in Pennsylvania.  He went on to set up the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society with its headquarters in New York. 

• They have their own version of the Bible called The New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures.

• The organisation requires that members attend meetings in Kingdom Halls (a bit like church) and go out preaching door to door. 

• Sunday meetings are spent with an Elder giving a Talk and studying a Watchtower magazine.  This study involves the reading of an article, followed by the answering of set questions from the paragraph just read. 

• Evening meetings are held twice weekly and largely consist of practising preaching methods and studying one of their publications. 

• Prayers are said multiple times per day.  Before each meal and before bedtime. If there is a man present the man says the prayer, if a woman prays in a man’s presence she must cover her head to show submission.  

• A chapter of their bible is read daily as well as a publication called ‘Examining the scriptures daily’. 

• They knock on doors and preach because they want to convert you.  They have to declare the number of hours they have spent preaching at the end of each month in a report.

• Jehovah’s witnesses do not accept blood transfusions.  This is because of their interpretation of a scripture in their bible.  Parents would refuse blood transfusions for their children even if this resulted in death. 

• They believe that Armageddon is imminent and want to save as many people as possible. They originally believed this would happen in 1914, but as this year came and went they changed the date on a number of occasions. 

• Things that are banned include; smoking, sex before marriage, abortion,  homosexuality, masturbation, and music with bad language and TV programs and computer games that are deemed to be ‘worldly’ ie, anything with any swearing, sex scenes, drugs etc.

• Jehovah’s Witnesses do not vote as they see Jehovah as the only true leader.  They are forbidden from swearing allegiance to the flag in America and joining the military.  

• Members are encouraged to only associate with other Jehovah’s Witnesses and to keep contact with outsiders to a minimum at school or in the workplace. 

• If a member leaves they are ‘shunned’ other members would not speak to them, including family members. 

• Higher education is frowned upon.  As teenagers, Jehovah’s Witnesses are encouraged to leave school and go straight into unskilled part-time work.  This is in order to maximise time available for preaching and door knocking. However, they also discourage critical thinking, for example the use of outside sources and websites that may contradict any JW teachings is very much frowned upon.

• This is my story….

• I think I always knew our family was different to other families.  We behaved and dressed differently and this made us stand-out.  

• As a family we would attend ‘meetings’ (a bit like sermons) in a Kingdom hall (their place of worship) three times per week.   Here women must wear skirts below the knee, (never trousers), and must dress modestly. They are never allowed to give ‘talks’ from the platform, this is always done by men.  All the important decisions are made by Elders who are… also men. 

• Growing up, Christmas was never celebrated.  We were told we were lucky that we hadn’t been lied to like other children were.

• Our birthdays were never celebrated and I never went to a birthday party.  But the thing I struggled with the most was the weekly singing assembly in school.  Whenever a hymn was sung we would have to stand-up and walk out of the school hall in front of all our peers.  At an age when I desperately wanted to ‘fit in’ this made me stand-out and I hated it.

• A few teachers discussed my beliefs with me, questioned me, and these small conversations stayed with me and planted seeds of doubt in my mind. 

• By the time I went to secondary school I had started to question things and lead a double life.  I did not tell any of my new schoolmates about my religion. I lived in fear that one day I would knock on the door of one of my new classmates.

• From the age of 13/14 I started to lead a double life.  Living at home, attending meetings, preaching door to door but I was questioning things.

• I secretly started dating and on one occasion got spotted out in public with my boyfriend.  This was reported to the Elders and I had to confess my sins to my family and the Elders.

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• My boyfriend at the time became my husband.  Initially they tried to convert him but he was having none of it and they soon gave up.

• I was given a ‘Public Retribution’ as my punishment.  The congregation was spoken to about the sin I had committed and advised to keep contact with me to a bare minimum.  However, the strongest form of shunning is called ‘disfellowshipping’ where even families cannot speak to the shunned member. 

• I got out of the organisation when I was 18 years old.  Logistically this meant leaving home. But it also meant I was never allowed to speak to the friends I had grown up with ever again.

• When I left I no longer believed in their teachings, but this fear of Armageddon, or the end of the world was deeply ingrained.  The sense of dread and anxiety was difficult to shake, despite my rational-self knowing it would not happen. A thunderstorm, events in the news,  a threatening skyline would trigger feelings of panic even years later.    

• I went on to marry and a few years later fell pregnant.  Following a very straightforward pregnancy I had a very traumatic delivery where I suffered a Post-Partum-Haemorrhage.  I needed a blood transfusion, something that is banned by the cult. Despite having left the religion nearly 10 years previous I struggled with the decision to accept it and felt guilty, as though I had sinned. 

• I had three blood transfusions after my son’s birth.  Those blood transfusions literally saved my life 

• Laying in the hospital with my new-born in my arms I struggled to come to terms with the fact that, had I, or any of my siblings ever needed a blood transfusion as children, my parents would have let us die. 

• The guilt I felt having accepted the blood transfusion and the anger I felt over the issue left me with Post Natal depression, anxiety and PTSD. 

• If my family ever found out they would shun me and my child, meaning they would have no further contact with us ever again. 

• In writing this post I have committed the ultimate sin ie, spoken negatively about the organisation and they would label me an apostate.  Although they do not believe in hell they do believe that apostates will have a particularly painful death. 

• Twenty years later I have been to university and have a successful career.  However, I still feel the effects of growing up in a cult. I started seeing a counsellor who has really empowered me and helped me find my own ‘truth’.  Most of my family remain Jehovah’s Witnesses. 

• I have never confronted my parents about any of this.  In their hearts they still believe they are in ‘the Truth’ and they grieve the fact that I have left. 

• I grew up in a loving home but I did not ask to be born into what I consider a cult.   

• Leaving has been my positive and has been the driving force that motivated me to succeed.

• Leaving has taught me to always question things and examine the evidence in front of me.

• Leaving has made me the educated, politically active, Christmas-loving feminist that I am.